In the Dew Drop.........

It's hard to find the serenity, peace, joy, and contentment in life when you have been so addicted to something. My life has be overshadowed with a fog of misinterpretation.......it really wasn't me reflecting who I was; or at least no one could see the real person due to the first appearance judgment that we all seem to do. I worked so hard to please........thinking they would all accept me for that; but in-fact many made themselves distant due to not being able to get past the fog....they couldn't see the real heart; and apparently my addiction kept me from being the person I really was. The addiction definitely had me, controlled me, but I was still in there, behind the fog of it all. As I have blogged before about the smell.........ohhhh the smell is extravagant now! Laundry is blissful, and how could anyone say that laundry was anything but just a dirty job; but ohhhh how it smells when its freshly done. I'm inhaling and thanking God for giving us the ability to smell such wonder. Ohhh of course there are those smells that I must say I can do without, but in all we have to take the good with the bad........and the good so overwhelms the bad; or at least that's my choice.

Choice, and I choose to see the little things that are not so apparent to most. Like the rainbow smear (but it could be like a flower in the picture above) in the small dew drop on a sliver of grass this morning..........that's beauty, that only God could create in His true perfection of life. He created us to see it, but all of us seem to have some kind of fog that clogs the vision.......or takes up the time that we don't even look; or do we even care. So selfish sometimes in this life we are; like me saying I need to have another fix.....my prior addiction tries to haunt me daily.......but no it's not the owner of this temple any longer. My addiction is smoking cigarettes; but it's even more dirty than it sounds. It consumes the mind all day long; or at least it tries. It pollutes the air in the house, and lungs of our kids and guests. It discolors the lips and fingers of a long survivor of the addiction. It distorts the breath of our loved ones when it's time for affection......a kiss should never be dirty and disgusting to the senses; but it is! Ohh but we're cool at first, then we're apparently rich to afford them, then we've combined them with other addictions that go along with it such as coffee, alcohol, etc.

My vision is becoming clearer as each day of victory falls asleep............I'm enjoying the senses, breathing like never before, seeing the beauty in everything, and smelling another load of laundry. It's beautiful once the fog is gone; and hopefully everyone will see the beauty that God has placed within me to shine to everyone! May my life be only a blog right now, but a testimony to someone that is in need......................... to see that little sliver of grass that holds the beauty of a rainbow/flower/or just the clearness of life, God promises!