Day 25-29:God will move you...Sweet Serenity and Jehovah-jirah

If you go back and read day 1, you almost wouldn't believe the words in which I'm about to write. That is unless you have faith in God: Jehovah-jirah (The Lord who Provides) that delivers every single time and usually over and beyond what one can imagine. And so it is...here I am giving God the glory for all that He has abundantly blessed us with over the last 29 days. He did it just like I said. He had a plan and we walked it out in full trust of His purpose. Now we're all benefitting from the move.

Here's some detailed benefits in which only mean something to me/us that has happened. I've mentioned some of these before in past posts, but I thought to see them all listed out might give a visual to all that God has done that was "not" in the necessities list of the new place...these are now truly luxuries!

1. I've been wanting a tub for so long that was truly big enough to "soak" in, not one where my knees or other body parts had to be out of the water. I got that along with jets!!

2. We've been needing a second bathroom for some time; as our son and I had the same "internal clock". No matter what I did; every single day...we had to go at the same time. We've got that extra toilet now.

3. Just for the safety, I wanted a basement but not as much as our son. He wanted to make sure we were safe from tornados since we do live in Kansas...he didn't want to go to Oz. I'd been fine with some ruby slippers, traveling especially in a hot air balloon, and to find friends while walking along the yellow brick road. Ohh and I find some excitement in the thought of running from flying monkeys...but that all didn't happen; God seen fit to give us a basement. A basement with storage shelves, a gutted basement so that we could either put the 3 bedrooms back in place or make it our own.

4. Our financial situation was looking really grim with the payments we were making before since I wasn't working. He supplied a bigger home for cheaper rent...$250 a month cheaper. We asked for time to figure out if this is really where we want to be since this house is for sale. I didn't want to be kicked out if it sold, so they put the house on pending and gave us a 6 month lease. Now the thought of possibly moving again in 6 months makes me sick! I have a "feeling" we're here for good. We have the option to buy/rent to own on January 1st. Since I've been in realty, escrow/title, closing business most of my career...I'm comfortable doing a owner finance until we can borrow for ourselves; we know what we need to do.

5. Everywhere else we've rented has always had white/off white walls and no painting allowed. Here, every room is a different color...and guess what? Our decor matches perfectly...imagine that. Would I have picked these colors? Probably not, but it will work for now and anything is better than white! I even have a butterfly wall decoration that never went with anything else, but my husband bought it for me and I wasn't getting rid of it. It looks beautifully in the bathroom next to the jet tub...in which, the decor says "believe". :) The littlest things make me smile, and proves God cares about the finest of details.

6. The back yard is complete with a privacy fence. Here's the little details...the yard is split with a fort already in place for our kiddo. The split gives us a place to separate the dog from visitors if needed or kids for that matter. Hallelujah! Along with that...out in the corner of the yard is a triangular wood patio...big enough for our table and chairs, the zero gravity chair, and the BBQ grill.

7. The master closet at first look was a real turnoff to me but wow...I've fit so much in there because of the masterminds whom designed it. Shelving and hooks all around have made this one happy lady.

8. I've always loved to be in the kitchen, but have found that love diminish over the years because of having such small kitchens. Not small to a lot of people, but after having bigger ones in the past; I've been spoiled in that way; spoiled again now. I've baked three loaves of different bread this week. Just waiting on payday to get more ingredients, so I can fill the house with the baking aromas. This kitchen has so many cabinets...that everything has it's spot! Glorious!! We have a built in china cabinet and coffee bar cabinet....ohhh Heaven on Earth! I don't need all those what-knot shelves anymore or a makeshift pantry out of an old bookcase (I'll be selling those if we end up buying).

9. The kid has friends. Now I will say that since most of the neighborhood is girls that limits his play with the boys, but we have one that shows up at our door everyday; and would live here if we let him. Except when he wants to go home to play video games...we don't do that here, but we have Netflix and he thinks that is pretty awesome. Now the trampoline is up, the fort out back, and bikes...I try to get them outside as much as possible. This is one of the most beautiful things and the most delightful out of all the list. We as parents couldn't be more thrilled.

Since we have moved here, the kiddo has lost all services that were available to us in Sedgwick County. He can't go back to summer camp, and we don't get weekend day respite. Now that would have been horrifying...but it's not now because he is getting to play with the neighborhood kids. He hasn't even asked to go to camp. I've not felt the need for respite. I will be getting hooked into direct services soon so that dad and I can have a date night tho. That's one of the most important things I've ever discovered in the years of marriage; time to ourselves.

10. My awesome spouse has his man cave. He is ecstatic about the basement because all my "gotta save it" stuff doesn't have to take up his territory. He is having a blast with organizing, planning, dreaming, and storing his toys. Not just a garage but a shop...4 cars would fit comfortably in there. Now that he changed positions...all those work tools came home; uhm...he has a shirt that says that he owns tools worth more than your new car (that's the truth). We couldn't be happier as this is the exact size we would've built if we didn't already have it now.

11. We are on in a cul-de-sac...low traffic and the kids are safe to play out in the street without too much worry.

12. We can walk to the end of the street, and be at the mini-lake or big pond if you want to call it that; there's some nice fish in there. It didn't take long for the boys to try that out. We are only 12 miles from the actual lake...uhm, a hop, skip and jump compared to what we've done before to go to the lake. This in itself is something that we wanted for retirement was to be by the lake...hummm? Are we at our retirement house? Ohhh wouldn't that be a blessing...never to move again!

13. The kiddo will be in elementary another year here (so many other places move on to a intermediate school in-between elementary and middle school. I find this to be another blessing only because as we all know that the best of friends are made in elementary, and it's easier to transition to another building/school if you have went to school with kids in the past. He's excited because another year of recesses. That's important!

14. I have a built in book shelf that holds all my books! That'll be some more shelving to be sold.

15. I have an enclosed back porch with french doors. The windows in the french doors have those internal blinds...no dusting...that is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! It makes for a nice place to have the deep freeze, etc. We have other ideas for it if we buy it though.

None of this is bragging because this house needs so much work to make it complete, but what we've got here is God showing us that he cares about our interest down to the minor details. I know that listing all that is wrong with it wouldn't bring benefit to anyone anyway...it's finding the good in it all. It's seeing our glass is not only half full but truly overflowing. We have been showered upon!

This...I've always been a "goer" and get depressed really easy if I can't get out of the house. It's a feeling of "stuck" that I can't stand. Being down to one vehicle...I've been in this house without leaving for a week now; I'm doing fabulous. I have so much fun just "keeping house", relaxing in my yard, daydreaming of all I want to do, and watching the kids play. I don't know if I'll stay this content,  almost assured that's not possible, but for now; sweet serenity is what I'm in. Thank you God for your provisions beyond anything I could've dreamed up myself. I dream pretty big!

Ohhh and don't let me forget...hubby was given a car today; we'll pick it up on Sunday. A car...that will be used to save on gas for hubby to go to work. It frees up the other vehicle so the kid and myself can go if wanted/needed. See...the 30 days isn't over and He has provided EVERYTHING and beyond!!

So if you've ever wanted to have such provisions or have questioned believing in God, Jesus, or anything...let this give you some hope to "try" Him out; He will let you. He gives us free will to make that decision because He loves us that much. If you have any questions about such faith; please feel free to email me, comment, pm on Facebook, whatever. I'm here for you and to share my faith for those who are interested. No I am far from a religious person; I don't belong to any denominations, etc.

Eye rolling, should've known better, lightbulb moments...

What happens when you feel you have failed? You get back up and learn from it or you should. Warning, this is one of those blogs where I lay my emotion out on the table. I know who I am, I know I haven't failed, but I share these spontaneous moments so that another might be able to connect; not feel alone.

I honestly feel like I've failed myself and everyone around me these past couple days; well, because my appearance isn't going the way I think it should.

So it all started Saturday; ecstatic over feeling lighter, my stomach had what I call fallen. It's loose and not bulging & tight anymore...I'm on my way; I thought. I had consistently gotten in at least my dedicated 4 miles a day. Then, my husband smokes some melt in your mouth watering goodness ribs and roasted vegetables. If you follow me or are a friend on Facebook then you seen such the sight. I felt great even after eating that. Remember I eat on a divided kids plate so my portions are appropriate and it keeps me accountable.

Well Sunday came...I have this horrible time on Sundays and have for quite some time. I use to think it was because I had to go to work on Mondays, well that can't be the case now...I work at home now. We decided to have left over ribs for lunch. My stomach just didn't feel well, I even felt as if I had gained a whole clothing size back. You know what, I've already forgotten how or when the next step came into play but I know I made myself a spinach wrap with this flat bread that was low in carbs, high in protein blah blah blah. I ate it. That was it, I had within 20 mins gained every back that I worked hard at this last week. Going from 2 miles a day to 4 miles then for that to happen, I was devastated. I cried, no lie.

I got my positive pants on and decided, it's ok because everyone has those bad days and tomorrow is another day. Wrong...Monday I woke up still so full of yuck, bloated, and lethargic. Those two items, the ribs and that flat bread is what I blamed. So I got ready for my 4 miles and decided no, I'm going to change it up a bit. I'm going to decrease back down to 2 miles, but increase my incline and pace. I thought this abrupt change would kick up the metabolism, etc. Well if it did, I didn't see it. So much into the evening last night; I'll just say I was flat depressed about it all.

I went outside to see the snow moon as I had read about it being the time of release; and I was amazed. Amazed by the radiance it put off, then my mind went wandering into thoughts like; God put that there for us because in Him there is no darkness. So as cheesy as it sounds; I lifted my arms to the heavens...I had a conversation with God last night. I didn't ask for him to help me be skinny or anything of such nature but only of gratitude for all that He has created for us. I know I have several followers that don't believe as I do; it's ok. This blog isn't about religion; its' about my journey...and you care about things I say and many have been inspired. So let this part slip through your filter if it must to hear me out. After the conversation...I just said, here I give it; I give it all in regards to our new lifestyle. Be what it is...it'll still all be alright.

Didn't think much more about it until crawling into bed (where my thoughts pour as the waterfall over  Niagara Falls as it always does) (and where I am right this minute) and BAM! How the heck did I know what caused this bloating/experience for sure; I tried to rehash my day...memory sucks! Ohh I'm a writer but I have forgotten one thing...I haven't journaled or done any type of food tracking, emotion tracking, whatever....I needed to start my day with paper in hand because I still love to write with a pen over typing.

So today I sulked in my pity of failing all of this; failing overtook me. So guess what; I didn't walk anywhere on purpose today, only what I had to do. Stewing over not having had the journal going from the get go; and guess what else...pictures of my journey overall. Not that I will be sharing all that nonsense, but for me to have access to see the journey happening even on bad days.

I just think I figured it out; and lets' just see if I'm wrong. I had gotten a little uptight over the Saturday night experience which again was a little gain, bloating, uncomfortable. STRESS! The stress caused probably more of it than anything and each day I dwelt it was worse though my actions were no different. Yay, maybe ribs will be able to make my mouth it's home again. Just maybe...but I can't blame them until I can track that info. So...tomorrow is another day; not one of failure but of experience and lesson learned. I'll be noting my emotions, the foods I eat, the exercise, and the activities that might give me stress.

Lightbulb moment: Can't blame something if you really can't track it to that. Journal it is.

Thank you so much for following, commenting, and sharing...yes, I know eyes' rolled, I should've known better but it is what it is and I appreciate all of you. My blog is reaching out farther than ever before and I've wrote for many years. I have tons unpublished because I get stuck in a rut of who cares, no one wants to read this, and honestly who am I to have something to share of interest. So thank you, I need you too as it keeps me accountable.

Good night!

Blessings Abound!
~Yvonne

Pic/Quote is written/said by Joel Olsteen