I honestly feel like I've failed myself and everyone around me these past couple days; well, because my appearance isn't going the way I think it should.
So it all started Saturday; ecstatic over feeling lighter, my stomach had what I call fallen. It's loose and not bulging & tight anymore...I'm on my way; I thought. I had consistently gotten in at least my dedicated 4 miles a day. Then, my husband smokes some melt in your mouth watering goodness ribs and roasted vegetables. If you follow me or are a friend on Facebook then you seen such the sight. I felt great even after eating that. Remember I eat on a divided kids plate so my portions are appropriate and it keeps me accountable.
Well Sunday came...I have this horrible time on Sundays and have for quite some time. I use to think it was because I had to go to work on Mondays, well that can't be the case now...I work at home now. We decided to have left over ribs for lunch. My stomach just didn't feel well, I even felt as if I had gained a whole clothing size back. You know what, I've already forgotten how or when the next step came into play but I know I made myself a spinach wrap with this flat bread that was low in carbs, high in protein blah blah blah. I ate it. That was it, I had within 20 mins gained every back that I worked hard at this last week. Going from 2 miles a day to 4 miles then for that to happen, I was devastated. I cried, no lie.
I got my positive pants on and decided, it's ok because everyone has those bad days and tomorrow is another day. Wrong...Monday I woke up still so full of yuck, bloated, and lethargic. Those two items, the ribs and that flat bread is what I blamed. So I got ready for my 4 miles and decided no, I'm going to change it up a bit. I'm going to decrease back down to 2 miles, but increase my incline and pace. I thought this abrupt change would kick up the metabolism, etc. Well if it did, I didn't see it. So much into the evening last night; I'll just say I was flat depressed about it all.
I went outside to see the snow moon as I had read about it being the time of release; and I was amazed. Amazed by the radiance it put off, then my mind went wandering into thoughts like; God put that there for us because in Him there is no darkness. So as cheesy as it sounds; I lifted my arms to the heavens...I had a conversation with God last night. I didn't ask for him to help me be skinny or anything of such nature but only of gratitude for all that He has created for us. I know I have several followers that don't believe as I do; it's ok. This blog isn't about religion; its' about my journey...and you care about things I say and many have been inspired. So let this part slip through your filter if it must to hear me out. After the conversation...I just said, here I give it; I give it all in regards to our new lifestyle. Be what it is...it'll still all be alright.
Didn't think much more about it until crawling into bed (where my thoughts pour as the waterfall over Niagara Falls as it always does) (and where I am right this minute) and BAM! How the heck did I know what caused this bloating/experience for sure; I tried to rehash my day...memory sucks! Ohh I'm a writer but I have forgotten one thing...I haven't journaled or done any type of food tracking, emotion tracking, whatever....I needed to start my day with paper in hand because I still love to write with a pen over typing.
So today I sulked in my pity of failing all of this; failing overtook me. So guess what; I didn't walk anywhere on purpose today, only what I had to do. Stewing over not having had the journal going from the get go; and guess what else...pictures of my journey overall. Not that I will be sharing all that nonsense, but for me to have access to see the journey happening even on bad days.
I just think I figured it out; and lets' just see if I'm wrong. I had gotten a little uptight over the Saturday night experience which again was a little gain, bloating, uncomfortable. STRESS! The stress caused probably more of it than anything and each day I dwelt it was worse though my actions were no different. Yay, maybe ribs will be able to make my mouth it's home again. Just maybe...but I can't blame them until I can track that info. So...tomorrow is another day; not one of failure but of experience and lesson learned. I'll be noting my emotions, the foods I eat, the exercise, and the activities that might give me stress.Lightbulb moment: Can't blame something if you really can't track it to that. Journal it is.
Thank you so much for following, commenting, and sharing...yes, I know eyes' rolled, I should've known better but it is what it is and I appreciate all of you. My blog is reaching out farther than ever before and I've wrote for many years. I have tons unpublished because I get stuck in a rut of who cares, no one wants to read this, and honestly who am I to have something to share of interest. So thank you, I need you too as it keeps me accountable.
Good night!
Blessings Abound!
~Yvonne
Pic/Quote is written/said by Joel Olsteen
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