The Silver lining...

has appeared when I've been struck to the core, talk about a whole new level of Grandma got ran over by a reindeer.

I woke from a dream of an old lady beating me w/ a cane...the old lady within that is! We've all heard of the inner child, but this would be my first in such an experience of the old lady within. In my profession now which came after years of recovery regarding the inner child who's voice was silenced, I'm blessed to watch the voices come alive for others through my aromatherapy practice. As the wisdom highlights ever so increase upon my head which can be seen by others, has nothing tho on the cane, walker, and being internally ran over by the lady in a wheelchair from within.

Wake up call...the days are going faster, my birthdays are coming sooner, and I'm hitting a benchmark of a birthday this next year that if I am anything like those women before me...I've lived 50% of my life already. The old lady is very loudly stating that she doesn't like the added assistance, and I have a chance to change all that. While I laugh...it hurts to think about the side effects that everyone feels when their health or mental wellness has deteriorated. I also know that living life does mean age increases but it doesn't mean that I've got to fall into the trap that all the decisions I make daily doesn't make a difference to how my body & brain will function in the future. I don't want to be mindlessly living.

We all know that our family lives more on the holistic side of living so we are still considered to be "weirdos" to most, but we are going to be amping that lifestyle up. When I realized that my labs showed in the last blog post the reversal of so many co-morbidities like diabetes, thyroid, cholesterol, and we haven't been sick with the "crud" like so many have been already...there's something to say for that. After taking care of Grandma who had Alzheimer's, nothing wants me to make sure everyone knows how important emotional health is to physical health...holding skeletons in our closets & not dealing with them leads to major health issues. Please know that no one ever has to share the details of their stories to be released of the affects of harboring those emotions whether you "feel" like you are holding on or not.

After a successful 6 months of being a full time entrepreneur, helping other's release their stumbling blocks in life & business; I am going to be courageous by restructuring my Release & Believe practice this new year...looking forward to a new project in store that will make it fall more within the guidelines of ministry. Wishing you all a very intentional
Happy New Year!

Ohhhh WOW...

the results from the blood work not only shocked me, but I'm now more determined than ever to do what needs to be done for my health. Let me give you a little history though before I expose the lab results.

The last time I had blood work done or went to the doctor for that matter (yay, that I haven't needed to go in over a year), I was pre-diabetic, I had high cholesterol, high blood pressure, thyroid issues, anxiety attacks, blah, blah, high this and that to the point it was like everything was wrong with me. I decided when we took on the journey to help the kiddo out, I was going to be on board for myself so I never took meds for any of that even after the diagnosis'. My old doctor didn't like me much then especially after I threw a fit and blamed the anxiety meds for causing me so many more issues & quit that.

I danced out of the doctor's office today...well skipped like a little girl with not a worry in the world. Our health journey has paid off with the doctor telling me today to keep doing what I'm doing...because it's working & he'd never seen such a good lab report. I do NOT have lupus (unless I'm weird & have fallen into that 2% category that I talked about in the blog post this morning), and I'm not believing that is the case. Not only do I NOT have that, I'm no longer pre-diabetic by any margin, nor do I have high cholesterol, high blood pressure, or thyroid issues. Matters of fact, I've not had an anxiety attack in a while...if I do, I know what to do. I cannot be more ecstatic about this news, as it's even better than I thought it could be. All issues have been totally reversed!

So why couldn't they tell me this over the phone? I had 5 sheets worth of lab work done, and since I had 3 "high" issues...the doctor has to see me to "prescribe" the treatment for that. So, let's talk about what was on the lab report...I've got some major inflammation going on which we knew by the inflamed optic nerve. There's something definitely still going on, but I can't support it until I know what I'm needing to support. Until then I'll be doing my own anti-inflammatory regime on top of what I'm already doing until more tests can be done thru the neurologist & rheumatologist which I won't see until January. The doctor absolutely loved that I was taking my health into my own hands, and not asking for a prescription(s) to band-aid the symptoms that has a need to discover the root. He's use to people always wanting the band-aid because we don't like the symptoms. I know the symptoms is our body's way of telling us there's something wrong; so until we find the root...I'll do without the domino effect. Until I can meet with the specialist, Praise the Almighty with me...thank you for your continued prayers and support.  I will continue to live the and support my family through whole foods/diet, alternative methods, and add more exercise because it has paid off! #releaseandbelieve has never been even more profound & #MountUp is just beginning!

A little praise report as well...K came home with the ewww snot running non-stop, raw nose, congestion, sneezing, head yuck. We did our thing that we do...and well within 24 hours, he's back to himself! :D

Decluttering...the ultimate betrayal

Betrayal...makes your mascara run!

I can say my life is by no way an accident, I have purpose and so do you. There's just way too many circumstances, tragedies, experiences, and such that I have personally went thru for it to not be of value to someone. The only way I have survived is by knowing thru my vulnerability, my story, my moments of rawness that someone is helped, understood, validated, and given hope. I've been decluttering & simplifying my home since August 1st, and if I would've known what I know this minute...I don't know that I would've started it. Now comes a season of decluttering & simplifying my emotions even though I didn't "ask" or "want" to.

Like the last couple days...Sometimes all I can do is cry it all out because there's no one I can talk to about such matters except for God. Which by the way, I realize is the only one to talk to...He's the only one who can do anything about it anyway. It's a twisted tangled mess that includes way too many people, so talking about it isn't an option. I'm a talker...so God has got His ears filled these last couple days with slurred words, blubbering noises, and whaling that even a toddler can't produce.

"I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God." ~Psalm 69:3. Until I have more clarification (because I can't trust my judgments right now), His Word is where I turn. I'm not alone there. What scares the "be Jesus" out of me...is exactly that; He was different, and didn't comply with the world nor their rules of normalcy. If I was to talk to anyone...they would in-fact think I was sick and have lost my mind. How in world could I go down this road? See, it's about forgiveness. It's about a forgiveness that isn't talked about. It's about despite the world view of how I should respond...I'm choosing to forgive. Believe me...I want to run away from this situation, and in the world's eyes I'd have validation for it.

Can I forgive at that level. That kind of forgiveness means to forget as God has forgotten...uhm, that's deep, that's hard, and to be honest I don't know if I can. I'm human...so is that kind of forgiveness possible? I don't know if I can live with myself if the consequences of it coming back to yet again be repeated. That's not my job tho...I don't know that...So, do I trust God that won't happen? I don't know if I can be like Jesus here. I thought for sure I was a follower...but, I can follow all day long. It's the "be like" Him that for the first time in my life...I just don't know that I can. See, I can forgive those whom do something to me ohhh how I wish this was anything like that. I've had to forgive my abusers, my naysayers, my parents, my grandparents, my friends, my kids, people from past relationships, all of that...so I thought I had forgiveness down.

But see the real issue here...is will I forgive myself for the decision that comes after the forgiveness. Do I stay, do I go, and whichever I do with this; will we be okay? The unknown is scary as hell. Sure there's people that if I had committed suicide and left a note with the story that would've said, "I wish she would've said something, I would've helped"...those people really aren't there like that. Those words come only when they are safe from having to fulfill such a need. I'm speaking from experience here because I've asked in the past...and that's when everyone seems to have not seen your message, it's urgency is dismissed, and is it even their responsibility? So yes, my past tends to help me make my decisions. I'm not going to share the tragic darts of this situation to find out no one is there to help with human effort. Again, a light bulb moment and reflection back to myself...am I there for others in this way? Seriously! Are we all so shut down behind the "knowing what they'd all would say and do" so why do it...then we sit in our pit of mire alone. All alone...well not Spiritual speaking but humanly speaking yes.

So...today I turn to God in my turmoil. It's Him alone that can do anything about it anyway. I do wonder what this is going to do for someone else...If I can't talk about it then how can I help another. It's my story but I'm involved deeply and entangled with so many more that it's not my place to put them out there. God help us!

A meme came across my screen that put it all into place for me along with the faithful prayers of some caring friends....If you went to Heaven, and God said...I forgive you to the same measure you gave forgiveness...how forgiven would I be? Matthew 6:15 "but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses". Ohhh do I need forgiveness too! Anybody else?

So, I'm not running away or ending the relationship of the one that has ultimately betrayed me...I'm going to embrace it...with healthy boundaries, stated expectations and not naive to being co-dependent, enabling, or excusing the behavior...Jesus didn't leave me when I've betrayed Him, so I'm not leaving this one either. May we all in this entangled mess allow Jesus to untie the knots in due time. Friendships are valuable & forgiveness is growth in the hardest sense of the word.

Release & Believe has never been so confirmed in my life as it is right now...this business in which I get the privilege of running will be stronger than ever because of my experiences. It's more than oils, it's being real with people in their situation, connecting on a personal level, and it's more than releasing...it's the power that comes in the changing ones intentions to affirmations & seriously believing it. I'm seeing a developing inner circle of support for those whom have been betrayed. If you'd like to have a connection, let me know. Thank you Jesus for allowing me to sit with you in your betrayal so that I may learn.


 #bedifferent #callustheweirdos #iwannabelikejesus #releaseandbelieve #inmyrawyouarenotalone