Has your world been thrown for a loop?

Just like the journey of writing out a "?", there's an almost a full loop before an extreme shift or curve in life! I have found myself over the last year at places of turning almost the opposite direction in which I thought I was going. So many questions, and just at the right time; a journal study called The Quest by Beth Moore came across my eyes. The person I thought I could trust the most I cannot, and more-so be hurtful too. Starting a business only to be led to lay it all down for a path of trust instead; talk about giving up selfish pride. Who wants to give up money, status, followers, significance, a sense of purpose? No one, unless you've had a personal nudge from the Only One who can make life so much more than any of that can give. I can confidently and boldly say...I'm heading home. I don't belong here, and I was never meant to belong here...only here to do assignments along the path to home. No wonder I can't seem to "fit in" or the ways of the worldly views connect in agreement with me. I'm ecstatic now when the clouds show up in life for the storms I no longer fear, only gazing in awe at His Presence to pick such choice colors for my day.

If I was going to talk loops, I'd prefer to discuss fruit loops...at least those are sweet & delightfully colorful. Nope, loops & curves within our paths of life instead. He really keeps me guessing, and I'm learning slowly to trust him for the strength in the next circumstance, step into curve knowing He will direct me to the point of His complete will. It's there that I long because truly going through the Valley of Baca (tears) happens more than I care to share. I have asked Him many times, didn't I just pass through here? Why must I go through again? As long as I ask, guess what? He answers. Just like the rich man in the Bible whom God asked to sell all he had then to follow Him, was sorrowful; I know that feeling. My peers have often said, that's just not realistic! Really, I ask?

The moment I laid the business aside, new refreshing things started happening in my life. A spark of authentic down right joy bubbled up in my spirit, but none of that happened without true life distractions that came along thru stealth tactics to get my mind off of the direction I was to be going. If I'm honest the distractions took me to the "hole of stuck", and when I did get out...I fell into the ditch of gossip, self pity, and selfish intentions. Ugh, who wants to admit that? Not me, but under obedience to be vulnerable for others; I must. Someone needs to be validated, inspired, and to know it's going to be ok when things like this happens. The rescue never comes without cost though...humbled hearts have to shed pride. I didn't even realize how prideful I had been much less all the other selfish ambitions I had developed. No wonder I needed to let go of all that distracted me...so I could get back on the path of Faith. All choices we make every single day are either Faith or Flesh choices. One leads to a blessed (that's a whole blog on it's own coming soon; the word doesn't mean what I've always thought at least; bless, blessing(s), blessed) life, and the other leads straight for betrayed in every sense of the word.

I've been quite the wanderer without my compass in hand. I was using social media news feeds, comments, followers, engagement or the lack there of, to judge my worth & comparison to being someone of significance. If no one commented, then I was confirming that I wasn't worth listening to. Good Grief!!!! What a LIE! So in ditching the dough $, I also was led to ditch all platforms of social media except this one to use as an avenue to pen down my pilgrimage. Social media was tools of  deviation for me. I signed out of Facebook, only to get notifications constantly that I was being sent messages thru Messenger; so I deleted the account altogether. I have seriously felt so bad for the group that I had started, but I didn't have a choice when my eye issues kept me from viewing the screen. I have laid down my smart phone pretty much completely except for a few texts & necessary phone calls. Speech to text & read aloud have been lifesavers for me during this time. I am assured I was allowed to experience this because I probably wouldn't have gotten off social media had it not. Sure great things happen on social media, but it's not for me at least not right now. I have no plans at this time of getting back on. I miss it, and the people with whom I was engaged with on there. It's been awesome at the same time being completely away from it. Do you have any idea how many hours you spend scrolling? For me...it was mindlessly throwing away precious time for hearing His voice to fulfill the next step of the assignment. I don't want to miss a thing He has for me. "I can't gain the world and lose my own soul, what would that profit?" Matthew 16:26 That's it...no profit.

So I wanted to update since it's been over two months since I've last written here...I'm working on a few projects. The Best behind the word Bless, Snail Mail Ministry, Ignorance of Intentions, and learning how to make homemade paper. The kiddo goes back to school next Tuesday, so hoping I can dive into these projects a little more, and get them finished so this pilgrim can put a pen to paper. Until next time...

Blessings from a Pilgrim's Pen!

XOXO!

~Yvonne