Confirmations of a CRAZY Girl & God!

Maybe you don't look into the Scriptures to find answers for everyday affairs like I do, and maybe you don't get woke in the middle of the night being led to shave your hair all off...maybe you don't, but if you do...you know how crazy obedience to the still small voice seems. It seems to be happening more & more lately & I'm so much more aware. I can't say I like it...but I do know that I don't want to EVER find out what happens if I don't follow through no matter how crazy it seems to others. I have found confirmations of such craziness throughout the Scriptures.

Noah looked really ridiculous building that ark. Thankfully Jesus' could've got down off that cross, but didn't...He was so mocked. Peter stepped out of a boat & walked on water too. Ruth after loosing her husband & father-in-law followed her mother-in-law away from all she had known. Who follows their mother-in-law especially after the husband that connects you dies? That's just nuts! Ohh and let's not forget the widow that was told to go borrow empty vessels from her neighbors to pour her "hardly any left" oil into them & it kept filling until all the vessels were full. At least she was like I would be...send the kids after them. There's always Joshua too that marched around a city for 7 days then yelled to make a wall fall down. Ridiculous! Over and over there's stories of a small amount like 2 loves and 5 fish feeding thousands with leftovers. I wouldn't believe it unless I was there either, cuz that is just CRAZY! There is so many more crazy requests God asked of people to do in obedience to Him. It was never really for themselves, but for others whom might hear, see, or for nothing more that testing of faithfulness.

Here's how it kinda happens for me...2 Kings 9. Verse 3 "Take this flask of oil, and pour it on his head..." Yep, just go show up at someone's place & dump some oil on their head while declaring what God has told you to do/say. Who would do it? I did. Maybe I'm crazy, but I have some heros, ancestors, and written confirmations that I'm part of such a family. Even in this...I'm not alone. But first...let me give you some back story.

April 10, 2018 was the day I posted I was going off social media for the last 50 of 150 day silent project I felt called to do from the beginning of the year. I just knew when I felt lead to do this, that something must be coming that would need my full attention. Sure, like in my last blog post I had a book to write, I had another project to work on in regards to the 100 women & their answers/stories they had submitted to me, but there was something else. I was almost assured I'd be touching on the "#mountup" word/phrase for the year that I've been discussing since the end of last year. Why would God ask me to get off social media, I had a business to run & I ran it through social media, internet, etc. Here's a small dialog of my conversation with God.

I said, "God you know I have a money story (that's a whole series/book in itself) & this request takes away from me working. If I don't work, I don't eat...Your Word says so in 2 Thessalonians 3:10." A quick response of a voice deep within me, said...TRUST. "God, I'm tired of always trusting in this area, I'm pretty stinking sick of it actually. This area causes me more grief and depressed days than any other. I have had no other choice but to trust You. You have allowed my supports to be taken away so that I have no care whatsoever for K, so I can work outside the home to help supply for our family. Rick shouldn't have to carry all the load, and for a matters of fact Your Word says I can ask, and shall receive too...what about that?"

Oh yes, I have these very conversations to the point & sassy just as I am with any of you reading now that know me. He knows every fine detail about me, why would I try and fake who I am, who He made me when I talk with Him. If anyone can handle my "some say disrespectful attitude & approach to God" He can. He loves me despite all that...and if He wants me to change, let me promise you this...He will allow me to go through some stuff so I do. He is Sovereign to me & I won't try to fake or cover up my "real" with Him.

So, the following Friday after going offline I went to bed, only to be awaken with an intense sense of an acquaintance flooding my mind that I had met a couple times at a church we went to in the past. I didn't know any of the stuff she was enduring at that moment, but when I get awaken like that...I always pray. While in prayer for this lady...I had a strong clear direction "shave your hair off for her & go anoint her". "What? My hair...NO! Are you crazy, why would shaving my hair off need to be done?" I was quite disturbed, but had fell back to sleep after praying. I couldn't get this off my mind the entire weekend. Saturday came & went with the thoughts popping up several times throughout the day, but I hadn't said a word to anyone about this. Why shave my head? Sunday came...and mid-morning I couldn't stand the pressure & stirring in my spirit; heavy, it was heavy. I went to the garage where my husband was...and I looked at him...he said, "What?"

I said, I got woke up Friday night to pray for Mary Roberts' & that I need to go anoint her. Hubby with a quick response said, "You know, you better do what you're lead to do. Ohh and by the way, Gene (her husband) had just posted on FB that he shaved his head because she had lost her hair & started chemo." I cried...NO!!! Hubby so confused, "what?????" I said, I was told to do it too (shave my head for her). I said, "Why did you have to just confirm that?" He just looked at me, LOL. I said, "I don't even know her, I don't have a phone #, and I'm not on social media to get ahold of her to see if she'll even allow me to come." I asked Rick if he had contact info still, and he did (of course he did)...if nothing more message thru FB.  He sent the message. Hours went by, and Galatians 6:2 just kept overwhelming me as I walked up to Rick later that afternoon & said...I can't stand it anymore...shave it! Just as I said it, Rick's phone went off with a message from Gene that we could come.

OHHHH Lord what are you doing?!! I don't know her & she doesn't know me...God did NOT care.

I cried, I just couldn't fathom what difference it would make, and I don't know that I'll ever know the impact.

This couple is going to think I've lost my mind when I ask to pour (anoint) oil over her head & pray...boy, was I wrong. Cuz we're not talking about a dab of olive oil on the forehead. I'm talking pour frankincense until it runs like read about with it running down the beard of Aaron in Psalm 133:2. It was accepted with much love & that moment I will cherish forever. The Spirit was alive and moving beyond comprehension in their home. I loved that when I walked in...she saw me, and said "ohhh you got the same haircut I do." I wake daily now to look in the mirror and pray for her. Would you add Mary Roberts to your prayer list...thank you in advance.

What I do know now tho, is that you find out who you really are when you no longer have things that you used to make yourself up. I don't need hair to be me. I don't need hair to be beautiful, and for a matters of fact bald is beautiful. Bald is cheaper on the budget too. Boy, I can get ready in no time flat now. Showers are so much shorter, and the electricity is none for the blow dryer & curling irons. 

But also...people pay attention, and this had given hope to another long distance friend that had seen me when I had come to town for a class. That friend called me up to share some of her God directed stories, and said she felt confident that at least I would understand. Boy, do I. Sometimes we need someone else to understand where we are coming from. It's a weird place to be, and you definitely stand out from the crowd, "I have never fit in". I may never know the real reasons why...but knowing I didn't disobey, and by obeying another friend found me trustworthy to speak to is enough for me. 

I may be missing the mark altogether, and if I am it's ok...I'm human & I fail in the eyes of others all the time, but I'm not alone. I am reminded of the well known Bible teacher, Beth Moore has had her own crazy experience...watch what she was called to do HERE. God uses the willing, and blesses the obedient. Check out my Facebook story images for today...they line right up. Be blessed!

Mary Roberts, you are no longer just an acquaintance! Our paths crossed for much more than my craziness. Much love & prayers of complete healing! Gene is pretty darn special too! Hugs!

Until next time, Release & Believe!

XOXO,

Yvonne

You're invited if you been thru some....

...$%!83!\!!!!!

What the heck is going on around us? Have you noticed? If you think outside yourself at all....someone has something big going on. Cancer, autism, surgery, tumors, dementia, mental health, depression, suicide, food allergies, skin conditions, chronic pain, death, and diagnosis' are on a rampage...and why? Have we really thought about it, and if we have thought about it; are we doing anything to change it? For me I know our food supply is crap. It's processed with lots of chemicals, hormones, blah blah blah. Our environmental toxins have reached an all time high. Our water that flows through the faucets haven't been safe for years. Do we really care about the future generations...our children, the neighbors children, and all the children's children? I'm saddened for the newest generations being born as I write this. Technology isn't making it any better much less social media...we've went mad. We don't dare let our cell phones die. The children in today's society spends more time talking through a screen and never seeing their family at the dinner table, much less getting outside to have physical social encounters that turn into lifetime friendships.

Don't get me wrong...I'm thankful for computers, internet, and FB at the moment to be able to notify way more people about what is going on currently in our lives involving Koda. I would hate to spend that many hours re-explaining all the details over the phone to each one. Does anyone take care of the neighbors, widows, orphans, and friends anymore? Do you even know your neighbors, much less what they're going thru. I remember taking dinners for a family that had surgery, or just had a baby. I remember babysitting the neighbor kids to give parents a break without expecting anything. What about going to relieve a caregiver at the hospital or nursing home? Do we volunteer at all? Now we can't trust anyone...everyone hates someone it seems either by occupation, color of skin, financial status, political party. I'm so sick of it all. What has happened to mankind?

Entitled brats! I know a lot of people don't fall into this bracket but society as a whole has. My heart is hurting for everyone right now. So I think once we get through this PET scan this week...we're throwing a party. WTF/H/Whatever Party...let's enjoy each other, hug each other, take a minute off our phones and connect while we eat, share our stories, and maybe even well I'm pretty sure we'll drink. Coping skills look different to all of us, and no I haven't went off on the deep end. I'm trying to touch on the angry momma part right now so I don't explode in inappropriate places or ways. I'm sure I'm pretty pissed off about our current situation along with what others are dealing with. I'm sorry! I wish I could fix it, but it begins with us. Me...and so I invite you...have a party and find your support because these journeys aren't easy. By the grace of God we will endure. Hugs to each and every single one of you! My heart hurts.

(By the way, I'm very serious about this party...if you are within my local realm; let me know you'll come) These may be crazy posts over the next few weeks/months, don't say I didn't warn you.

4 steps to NO MORE FOOD/SWEET Cravings (Step 4)

I'll apologize right now for being so late in posting step 4. I had to be sure that this was the step I could stand on and had experienced in changing our new way of life. I'm assured now! After experiencing two full weekends away from home and one was on us at the last minute with no time to prepare; I can officially say step 4 is Give Yourself a Break!

Good grief son, where is your other shoe while dad is yelling from the garage do you have everything ready to load? Uhh do you think I thought about grabbing food? No! So while last minute things happen in our lives it is imperative to have planned organic snacks such as mixed nuts, fruit, frozen cold pressed juice, protein/fiber balls, salads on hand at all times. Grab it and throw it in a cooler, lunch bag whatever. There is going to be a curve ball thrown at some point. I have never been so sure of this change now that I didn't have a plan. What an amazing learning experience and confirmation that #foodmatters and I was #hungryforchange. (click on links for awesome documentaries, recipes, and so much more; no I'm not being paid to advertise for them!)

Out the door we went, and we all ate horrible...back to the original processed foods, restaurants, etc to meet the demands of our stomach. Sure we could've stopped and got the better choices from a store, but we were so limited on time & funds that made it not possible. We had to eat CHEAP...but we didn't fall for McDonalds whoot whoot!! See I'm using an excuse...what I thought was cheap; now we're dealing with abdominal cramping, digestive issues, gained weight, and the lil' guy's behaviors are off the chart gain. Those side effects don't come cheap either...I''m a failure was the first thought! No I'm not...we fell off the track and now we have to get back on. It is very clear to me and this experience is a confirmation that nutrition, food types and choices make all the difference in the world.

So if you have fallen off track or maybe even derailed and felt like you've been left there to rust away; I've got good news...tomorrow is another day. Dust yourself off, pick yourself back up, and change your choices. Thankfully we've made it back home (very very broke by the way) and managed to have just $30 to go to the store. If you buy organic food...you know $30 isn't going to get much and we've got a week to live before payday. (Do I want to admit this, no...hell no! But I found that in my transparency other's gain. For that, I in my embarrassment will be humbled enough to say it can still be done)

So the scoop, we had either in freezer or pantry; 4 lbs of grass fed hamburger, a 2lb bag of organic pinto beans, a few apples, a tomato, left over gluten free birthday cake, 3 jars of half used and different kinds of salsa, a onion, rib bones, a pkg of quinoa and Kale, head of lettuce, cornbread mix,
and a grass fed beef heart.

We went to Aldi's this morning with our $30 and bought:Yes all organic, etc...

a. peanut butter
b. 2 pkg sliced ham
c. loaf of bread (Did you know that sourdough bread doesn't have added sugar...just a note)
d. 2 boxes of spaghetti
e. 2 jars of spaghetti sauce
f. Shredded grass fed cheese
g. 2 cans of refried beans
h. 2 pkg Basil and Tomato chicken sausage
i. 1 bag of blue tortilla chips


Mind you that's all we have...meals will be

Tonight:Taco Salad (put the rib bones in and roasted this morning and then on into the crockpot to make bone broth...cooks for 48 hours. Then took out the beef heart to thaw and marinate for 24 hours)

Tuesday: Beef heart with side of quinoa and kale

Wednesday: Spaghetti with basil and tomato chicken sausage

Thursday:Beans cooked in bone broth and cornbread

Friday: Pay day baby!! With two pounds of hamburger left over!

Sweet! Now I'll admit even with organic this is not the best of our meals nutritionally, but it's sure better than that restaurant and gas station food. I only shared this last info to prove that you can eat better even on a tight budget. Can't wait for whole fruit and veggies back in the fridge this weekend
....and more so for the garden to start producing. I hope and pray this helps somebody!

Give yourself a break...tomorrow is another day to dust off and do the best you can! Hugs!!

4 steps to NO MORE FOOD/SWEET Cravings (Step 1)

Yes, I don't have any food cravings and my desires for portions have uhm...let's just say, I have to make myself eat more than once a day. That's seriously about all the hunger that I have. How is that, you might ask?

Before I share with you what I actually did to get to this point, let me first say this. I have been down quite the road with weight issues most of my life. As a tween, 12 years old, I got sick one summer, really really sick and lost a bunch of weight for me at the time. I was down to a size 12 from probably a 16...and I'll never forget how my grandpa told me how much better I looked. Well, that stuck with me...12 must be the perfect size, I thought. Now there's some of you that want under that...that's ok, that's your choice because it's not about size to me anymore; I just want complete health. Like I've said on my Facebook posts, I don't own a scale. 

I wasn't looking for this journey when I found it! `Yvonne

Anyway, I've learned such things stick in our conscience when things like that are said especially to a naive young child. I'm not blaming him by any means. So I struggled with self worth, depression, shame, guilt, and on and on. Jumping into 2010, I decided to go have weight loss surgery (gastric sleeve bariatric surgery). That went well, I lost a little over 100 lb. down from 306 lbs and then my world got rocked. That rocking was very personal and there's no benefit for me to share that in this post. I can't ever say I found comfort in eating, I don't remember ever feeling good while eating...actually I always felt worse but never stopped. This body has consumed a lot of food in 42 plus years and in January I was almost back up to the before surgery weight of 286 lb.

January 24th, 2016 was the marking day of the click that went off in my head. I had received some information on yeah, I know boring insulin resistance and blood sugar. This was given to me in a way I've never heard before or was it...that "I had made up my mind" for real to do something different. My quote has always been "Be the change you wish to see in the world" -Mahatma Gandhi  

I don't believe I was just all of sudden interested in insulin/sugar because I wasn't even there to get such information. I didn't even know at the time I was going to hear such a lecture. A God appointment some will say and I won't argue that. I will say I knew in my heart for the first time in life that I was really done with my life as I had known it. I didn't set a New Year's resolution or anything about losing weight, changing life, etc. My life has changed though...the entire thing; A new lifestyle.

I'm compassionate about health. 

Getting back to emotional health, I have to talk about this because it is where many of us get stuck. It's where if I was mad, sad, scared, it didn't matter I seemed to place food in my mouth. I'd go hide in parking lots all alone to gorge myself on food. I remember one time eating 2 cheeseburgers, a chicken salad, large french fries, 20 piece chicken nuggets, and a XL pop. Ewww! Right? Well when one is in that mindset...you just hide so no one knows the ewww, or at least that's what I did.

Also, I was paid to clean my plate especially when going out to eat and every time I'd do it; then I'd have to go to the bathroom to get rid of it sometimes. Uhm, that didn't last long though before I was just used to cleaning my plate and so was my stomach. I will have to say we cannot fall into victimization status about ourselves over this because we are grown adults and have a choice. After you have been supplied any information don't discard it as not important or an interest to you. I wasn't interested in insulin or sugar information because well, I don't have diabetes staring me down, I don't have cancer eating my body up, I don't have anything/no diagnosis except migraines and obesity; being irresponsible with my body. I get it though, this thought process can't click for anyone else either until they want it to click. 

I've always had a choice, but when I found out the lies that are even deeper than one can imagine; that was my final click/light bulb moment.

It sucks because I always thought all these years it was my fault. Obesity is not anyone's fault...it's everybody's fault, unless one is actively contributing to the health of others along with themselves. I refuse not to inform my readers, my friends, acquaintances of what I know or find out. I cannot live with the guilt of not caring and not saying anything. I refuse. So, if you find yourself my friend on FB, Instagram, Twitter chances are you might get tired of my posts. I don't just post about this stuff only because I'm more into encouraging life and embracing joy than anything else. 

We have been lied to from the food corporations, medical profession and governing officials that we expected to oversee our health. It's all a lie (see my post on I feel like Maury...and that was a lie (Pt 1). The lies have been around a very long time, I'm just now figuring all that out. Now I'm a sponge and I hope at some point you will be one too for yourself, your family, for the Creator (my belief system). We can no longer play victim; we have a choice.

I'm out to prove to not only the rulers of lies but to myself; I can be healthy. I will do what needs to be done to remain that way. It's going to be a journey, and I'm taking it slow. Join me if you want; I'd love it.

So back to what you started reading this blog for in the first place...Step 1 

1) I took out all sugar (I know I know, you can't do that...but, but, but EXCUSES your choice :)) Sugar meaning anything processed, all the aka sugar names like high fructose corn syrup, and on and on the list goes. So I don't shop the middle isles of the store anymore because practically EVERYTHING is lurking sugar. I sure don't buy low  

fat, etc because it's been replaced with aka sugars. If you haven't already please watch Fed Up on Netflix. This is exactly where I started. I was livid after that; really livid. 

With this we have decreased choosing foods with labels. We cleared out all our pantry, refrigerator, etc and found pounds and pounds of processed items with high contents of sugar. Another truth about  sugar...you might want to see. (here)

TIA for sharing, commenting, and I'd love to hear your journey. I'm here to support you.

Blessings! I care about you! 

~Yvonne

Do you ever wonder...

...how you have ended up where you are today; good or bad? I have numerous times. I honestly live with a lot of regret. I've made some very bad decisions in my life and am not proud of those at all. I can't change what has already happened, but only apologize to those I've hurt in the process.

With that said, something pretty powerful has happened to me within the last few weeks. The reason I  say this is because for once; I'm doing something great! This decision not only changes and helps me but it truly is nothing but positive for everyone around me. It started like this; I decided Rick and I would do something once a month on our "monthly" dates (now that we finally got someone we can trust to take care of our son while we're out) that we've never done before. Trying something new and step out of our comfort zones, so the first date was a hypnosis clinic (don't judge as I'm being authentic in my sharing and don't want this word become a stumbling block in your walk with Christ if that's the case. Questions in regards to Christians and Hypnosis: please read). I won't go into detail about this because that has nothing to do with this post.

I came out of this date a changed person. My thinking of food...is forever changed. Sugar and flour are "Death Dust" to me and there's a big red flashing X internally when I see them. After this I think it was only a day or two later that we watched "Fed Up" on Netflix. I don't think this was a coincidence by any means but only another confirmation to the choice life we were about to take as a family. What we did next was...cleaned out the kitchen of most all labeled foods; yes, the 10 different bottles of salad dressing, canned foods, bags of whatever, boxes of prepared stuff, and all processed meats.

We headed to a local farmer whom has grass-fed beef, poultry, lamb, etc and interviewed their process. We agreed with their way of farming and raising their livestock. This is the only type of meat we will eat. So, going out to eat will be very limited if ever because it's so hard to find clean food out there. Along with the meat, we're buying only organic whole foods until we can get our own garden growing.

The next confirmation comes when our multiply diagnosed and complex son went through some new issues that threw up yet another flashing red "X" in my gut. The chemicals being pushed into his system by all the pharmaceuticals he has to take to function...what the heck am I doing to our son? I couldn't add to the long list of wrongs I have done in my life, so this has to stop. He doesn't have the choice to take them or not; he's been on medication since he was 3 years old and he's 10 now. He's been through one year of chemo as well as all the other drugs that go with that. These episodes put gasoline to the small fire within me that had been wondering how to get him off some of this stuff.

Many nights have been up researching, contemplating, praying, and bouts of crying when I found things I feel I should've already known. So, we first start in regards to him; with the med that isn't approved for kids...yeah, I know you're probably thinking why I would ever give my kid that. Here's why...If a child literally cannot sleep or get "REM" (good) sleep...there's going to be behaviors and a lower executive function. If there's a lower cognitive function & daytime behaviors..then he can't go to school and learn. Without going into that whole story; I'll leave it right there. If you'd like to know more about sleep and daytime behaviors please feel free to leave a comment, and I'll be in touch with you.

Here's another reason why...I trusted his doctors. She was upfront with us about him being on this medication and how she didn't like it one bit, but was the only thing that was going to help since his symptoms were so severe. She did forget to tell me though as time went on he'd need increased doses to keep having relief; well we're to that point now. He starting to tell us of the night time complications and school is reporting daytime focus decreasing. So, this is where we start. We go to see her; she's excited we want him off. We discuss something that I forgot about in the first meetings of this med or she thinks we discussed...vitamin deficiencies. Iron is a big player in this night time issue he has. Due to the chronic and severe cases of constipation we've dealt with over the years; Iron couldn't be given. So she orders some lab work; I ask for a full panel of deficiencies...she agrees. Guess what he not only is severely deficient in iron, he is in others as well.

Is your pain due to vitamin deficiencies?

Back to the research...I go looking into how the body can heal itself if it has the right "atmosphere" in which to do that. All the while; I have been using essential oils for diffusing mostly all these years. The reason I bring this up is that during these last few weeks we got pretty sick at our house; I made up a concoction; and within 24 hours we were better...normally we would've been down 3 days plus. We did not take any OTC meds or go to the doctor, but we did put some high dose probiotics into our system as well. Then my husband gets one of his terrible; put him out of order, gas knots as he calls it. Again I make a concoction, and within 30 mins he's feeling great. :)

Gut health...it all starts there. We're starting there, getting a nutritionist involved, and going to heal from the gut out. I found there are superfoods that will aid in the blood flow so our son doesn't have to take aspirin everyday, and we're adding in other foods/juices for his constipation (I'm assuming most of that is medicine induced constipation to begin with), supplements, and essential oils. We've cut down to using kids plates w/ dividers so we have portion control. We're trying new foods that we've never ate before; for me in particular would be kefir, butternut squash, and lentils. We've replaced pasta for spaghetti squash. All sugar has been removed from our diet except for those foods that are naturally and organically sweetened like fruit.

Guess what...we don't crave sweets! I really don't crave anything and we're hitting only about 4 weeks into this. I don't know if you ever wonder how you got to be where you're at today, but it's always by our choice and ignorance that we don't find ourselves with better outcomes. I was ignorant of all the sugar that is dumped into our foods. How sugar is killing us. There is such a long list of sugar that is named differently so they can list it in the ingredients without scaring everyone; and since more people are looking at the labels.

Names of Sugar :(

I dare you to educate yourself though and watch "Fed Up". It was the final call at our house to make a positive change for our future, our health, and ourselves. I'm only given this body for this lifetime and well I want to enjoy it. I thought food was an enjoyment...that was a lie that sugar gave; an addiction like cocaine. :( All approved by who we thought was there to help us, USDA, FDA, etc...NOT!

I may have made mistakes in the past but this one time...I'm doing something right, positive, and helpful. Oh yeah, and I got a treadmill. Put that sucker right in the living room; can't deny that guilt staring me in the face...so my first log of keeping track was yesterday. 1.6 miles in 33 min. Today was 2 miles in 33 min. 3 is my number so that's why I stop at 33. If you read this, and you would like to see more posts and details about such topics, or to follow our journey; please let me know. I can't read your mind. I also would rather encourage, engage, and entertain my readers; please comment and share.

Thanks for reading until next time. Happy Valentine's Day! Love somebody<3 p="">
Blessings,

Yvonne