Today I'm thankful for my inquisitive mind. Tho it seems to never shut down and can be slow at processing, I'm able to read, write, research, study, compare, count the cost and process. I am watching many just follow whatever sounds good, looks good, feels good. Apparently the pain is great and abroad, which explains so many religions, denominations, opinions, and lifestyles. What's everybody looking for or trying to fill that one can't actually think or figure out for themselves? Not enough time? See these are my thoughts, not for you to reply. I don't need answers, I know what I think. I just wonder how many really think or even evaluate why you do what you do or think what you think or believe what you believe? Did someone teach you that? Show you that? Just say it's what you should do? I'm just a curious cat today.
I can only hope you find Truth for yourself through my pilgrimage. This site consists of the transformational stories, adventures, and stepping stones in my life. A true diary of love, heartache, accomplishments, failures, faith, hope, patience, marriage, parenting, concerns, and just life in general.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Father or the Father's Stuff?
Today, I sit in wonder and awe of my heavenly Father. After being in this world for 40 years, I have heard a truth today that one should probably hear before deciding to accept and believe in the free gift of salvation, by Jesus Christ alone.
The message is on the story of the prodigal son, but titled the prodigal father. What are the things I hold to a higher standard than my love for God himself? What is the one thing I close my fist on and say "no" this one is mine & I won't and can't give up. Where is my affection? Do I love the Father or the Father's stuff. In complete humiliation and confession, I feel as if I have been hit with a Mack Truck of reality/truth. I have chosen "the stuff" over the actual Father.
I have lied to keep my "stuff", and I have made my stuff considerable a called "blessing" to give an excuse/validation as to having it or wanting it. I was raised this way, with no blame here. I was given stuff as a sign of love. God is love, right? So, I thought in my small mindedness and the believing the lies of the enemy that the stuff was God's love being lavished on me. Now with that said, don't get me wrong, the stuff is the Father's and he does bless us with such things...it's where is my affection, motivation, reasoning behind. Can I accept not driving/going after/consuming the stuff to feel the love of the Father? Can I just love Him?
This particular question is one I am going to have to process. Again, after being hit with a truck...there's some recovery time. God, grant me more truth, more conviction, more correction so that I can know "YOU" better and not just for the pure fact of more "blessings". You have blessed me in an abundance, you have given me a great life to testify of your love, strength, and reality of your Spirit within. May I share that. May that be my drive, to share the wonders of you. May I receive a glorious high of being with you, sharing you, and just being yours. May not another earthly thing fill my desires...may all I want is you. Block my hears from the enemy's fire, stop my feet from walking the paths of desiring small gods, shut my mouth from protecting the desires to lie to get things. Set my heart on fire for your love and presence alone.
I have not known love, I don't know how love works without stuff. Your Spirit must change my mind and heart. I cannot do this alone. Please Father, all I want is to be loved and to be Fathered by one that doesn't want something from me. I have always been a fulfiller of needs for another, especially men. Isn't that what I was created to do; be a fulfiller?
The message is on the story of the prodigal son, but titled the prodigal father. What are the things I hold to a higher standard than my love for God himself? What is the one thing I close my fist on and say "no" this one is mine & I won't and can't give up. Where is my affection? Do I love the Father or the Father's stuff. In complete humiliation and confession, I feel as if I have been hit with a Mack Truck of reality/truth. I have chosen "the stuff" over the actual Father.
I have lied to keep my "stuff", and I have made my stuff considerable a called "blessing" to give an excuse/validation as to having it or wanting it. I was raised this way, with no blame here. I was given stuff as a sign of love. God is love, right? So, I thought in my small mindedness and the believing the lies of the enemy that the stuff was God's love being lavished on me. Now with that said, don't get me wrong, the stuff is the Father's and he does bless us with such things...it's where is my affection, motivation, reasoning behind. Can I accept not driving/going after/consuming the stuff to feel the love of the Father? Can I just love Him?
This particular question is one I am going to have to process. Again, after being hit with a truck...there's some recovery time. God, grant me more truth, more conviction, more correction so that I can know "YOU" better and not just for the pure fact of more "blessings". You have blessed me in an abundance, you have given me a great life to testify of your love, strength, and reality of your Spirit within. May I share that. May that be my drive, to share the wonders of you. May I receive a glorious high of being with you, sharing you, and just being yours. May not another earthly thing fill my desires...may all I want is you. Block my hears from the enemy's fire, stop my feet from walking the paths of desiring small gods, shut my mouth from protecting the desires to lie to get things. Set my heart on fire for your love and presence alone.
I have not known love, I don't know how love works without stuff. Your Spirit must change my mind and heart. I cannot do this alone. Please Father, all I want is to be loved and to be Fathered by one that doesn't want something from me. I have always been a fulfiller of needs for another, especially men. Isn't that what I was created to do; be a fulfiller?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)