The Aggressive Lies of Perfection...

have done more damage to goals & dreams than anything else. Peeps! Lets' talk.

I'm the queen of focus on your goals, hide yourself from the daily to do list like laundry because it'll be there when you finish anyway. Make your minutes in this life matter. Coffee with a friend because she needs an ear, cuddling with your baby, watching a movie with your spouse, and anything that directly affects your bank account are all more important than those dishes, dusting, laundry, etc.

It's no lie that I hate certain elements of laundry to the point the stacks and stacks of clothes find their usual home in a laundry basket. I don't have too much trouble actually getting clothes to the washer & starting it...the delay comes in getting them transferred to the dryer. Then, I must rewash them because they've sat in the washer too long & ohhh gawd the horrific smell of "you know." No lie, I've got an easy peasy resolve of that smell through a few drops of purification in with the laundry soap itself (that stuff makes poop smell like sweet lemonade with no exaggeration). Then once it's to the dryer, I do turn it on to complete the process, but it may be days before it gets taken out...or it gets placed into its' home until I absolutely can't stand it anymore. There's a wide range of time that goes by before the "I can't stand it anymore" ignites action of actually putting it away.

When I do get the action rolling on folding...that usually doesn't bother me too much & I'll get those all stacked up & put away. SHIRTS tho are my downfall because they have to go on a hanger & be hung up. There's something about that process (No, at this moment I don't know why) that I absolutely HATE! So while I'll get all the other clothes folded & put away...the shirts then join the family of shirts pile on our cedar chest in the bedroom again until I can't stand it anymore. There's something about misery loving company, and that chest then finds multiple things placed on it from receipts, new fall decor that I've bought, jewelry that I've taken off, opened mail packages, and the pile piles on up. Our cedar chest is the magnet for all things I don't want to deal with, you know like that treadmill, exercise bike, or the vacuum, but why the chest...it has no exertion requirement calling out to me that I need to face.

This morning I decided I was going to face this 2 weeks worth of clean laundry that needed to go where it belonged. In the midst of all this I've picked a book to listen to (Audible has became my new friend, and I'm questioning why it's taken me so long to discover it) called Finish: Give Yourself The Gift of Finish by Jon Acuff. I don't suggest many books, but this one that needs to be read by every single house. Why, you ask, because perfection has lied to us in a very subtle but aggressive way. One of the biggest takes I had gotten from this book was that...

"the word "until" is nothing more than perfection dressed up in a Halloween costume!"

Big eyes here, and mouth dropped to the floor...eye opener! Genius! So, when you talk listen for your "until". There's a whole bunch of revelations in the words of this book, so I won't give anymore spoiler alerts; GO GET THE BOOK!

Back to my morning, I decide to take one of his tips I'd got from the book to face my laundry situation. While I won't go into detail about the tip, I'll say I changed my goal to only hang up the shirts. You know what? Not only did I hang up the shirts, I put ALL the laundry away, swept the floor in my bedroom, dusted, threw away all the piles of trash on the cedar chest or placed everything where it belonged, and made my bed (typically don't because I'm gonna crawl right back in it tonight). I FINISHED the book, laundry, and all the above by noon today. Reward...the rest of the day to do what I want. I'm not looking at the other rooms (past experience says I do that) that need such details as defeat.  Perfection would try to say I've failed because the entire house isn't that way. I'm calling BS on perfection today & nothing has felt so freeing. Thank you to Jon for the book...something tells me that my house will be cleaner overall, my guilt will have been crushed by revelations, and I'll walk in many more victories because I will FINISH. You are worthy of FINISH.

Day 25-29:God will move you...Sweet Serenity and Jehovah-jirah

If you go back and read day 1, you almost wouldn't believe the words in which I'm about to write. That is unless you have faith in God: Jehovah-jirah (The Lord who Provides) that delivers every single time and usually over and beyond what one can imagine. And so it is...here I am giving God the glory for all that He has abundantly blessed us with over the last 29 days. He did it just like I said. He had a plan and we walked it out in full trust of His purpose. Now we're all benefitting from the move.

Here's some detailed benefits in which only mean something to me/us that has happened. I've mentioned some of these before in past posts, but I thought to see them all listed out might give a visual to all that God has done that was "not" in the necessities list of the new place...these are now truly luxuries!

1. I've been wanting a tub for so long that was truly big enough to "soak" in, not one where my knees or other body parts had to be out of the water. I got that along with jets!!

2. We've been needing a second bathroom for some time; as our son and I had the same "internal clock". No matter what I did; every single day...we had to go at the same time. We've got that extra toilet now.

3. Just for the safety, I wanted a basement but not as much as our son. He wanted to make sure we were safe from tornados since we do live in Kansas...he didn't want to go to Oz. I'd been fine with some ruby slippers, traveling especially in a hot air balloon, and to find friends while walking along the yellow brick road. Ohh and I find some excitement in the thought of running from flying monkeys...but that all didn't happen; God seen fit to give us a basement. A basement with storage shelves, a gutted basement so that we could either put the 3 bedrooms back in place or make it our own.

4. Our financial situation was looking really grim with the payments we were making before since I wasn't working. He supplied a bigger home for cheaper rent...$250 a month cheaper. We asked for time to figure out if this is really where we want to be since this house is for sale. I didn't want to be kicked out if it sold, so they put the house on pending and gave us a 6 month lease. Now the thought of possibly moving again in 6 months makes me sick! I have a "feeling" we're here for good. We have the option to buy/rent to own on January 1st. Since I've been in realty, escrow/title, closing business most of my career...I'm comfortable doing a owner finance until we can borrow for ourselves; we know what we need to do.

5. Everywhere else we've rented has always had white/off white walls and no painting allowed. Here, every room is a different color...and guess what? Our decor matches perfectly...imagine that. Would I have picked these colors? Probably not, but it will work for now and anything is better than white! I even have a butterfly wall decoration that never went with anything else, but my husband bought it for me and I wasn't getting rid of it. It looks beautifully in the bathroom next to the jet tub...in which, the decor says "believe". :) The littlest things make me smile, and proves God cares about the finest of details.

6. The back yard is complete with a privacy fence. Here's the little details...the yard is split with a fort already in place for our kiddo. The split gives us a place to separate the dog from visitors if needed or kids for that matter. Hallelujah! Along with that...out in the corner of the yard is a triangular wood patio...big enough for our table and chairs, the zero gravity chair, and the BBQ grill.

7. The master closet at first look was a real turnoff to me but wow...I've fit so much in there because of the masterminds whom designed it. Shelving and hooks all around have made this one happy lady.

8. I've always loved to be in the kitchen, but have found that love diminish over the years because of having such small kitchens. Not small to a lot of people, but after having bigger ones in the past; I've been spoiled in that way; spoiled again now. I've baked three loaves of different bread this week. Just waiting on payday to get more ingredients, so I can fill the house with the baking aromas. This kitchen has so many cabinets...that everything has it's spot! Glorious!! We have a built in china cabinet and coffee bar cabinet....ohhh Heaven on Earth! I don't need all those what-knot shelves anymore or a makeshift pantry out of an old bookcase (I'll be selling those if we end up buying).

9. The kid has friends. Now I will say that since most of the neighborhood is girls that limits his play with the boys, but we have one that shows up at our door everyday; and would live here if we let him. Except when he wants to go home to play video games...we don't do that here, but we have Netflix and he thinks that is pretty awesome. Now the trampoline is up, the fort out back, and bikes...I try to get them outside as much as possible. This is one of the most beautiful things and the most delightful out of all the list. We as parents couldn't be more thrilled.

Since we have moved here, the kiddo has lost all services that were available to us in Sedgwick County. He can't go back to summer camp, and we don't get weekend day respite. Now that would have been horrifying...but it's not now because he is getting to play with the neighborhood kids. He hasn't even asked to go to camp. I've not felt the need for respite. I will be getting hooked into direct services soon so that dad and I can have a date night tho. That's one of the most important things I've ever discovered in the years of marriage; time to ourselves.

10. My awesome spouse has his man cave. He is ecstatic about the basement because all my "gotta save it" stuff doesn't have to take up his territory. He is having a blast with organizing, planning, dreaming, and storing his toys. Not just a garage but a shop...4 cars would fit comfortably in there. Now that he changed positions...all those work tools came home; uhm...he has a shirt that says that he owns tools worth more than your new car (that's the truth). We couldn't be happier as this is the exact size we would've built if we didn't already have it now.

11. We are on in a cul-de-sac...low traffic and the kids are safe to play out in the street without too much worry.

12. We can walk to the end of the street, and be at the mini-lake or big pond if you want to call it that; there's some nice fish in there. It didn't take long for the boys to try that out. We are only 12 miles from the actual lake...uhm, a hop, skip and jump compared to what we've done before to go to the lake. This in itself is something that we wanted for retirement was to be by the lake...hummm? Are we at our retirement house? Ohhh wouldn't that be a blessing...never to move again!

13. The kiddo will be in elementary another year here (so many other places move on to a intermediate school in-between elementary and middle school. I find this to be another blessing only because as we all know that the best of friends are made in elementary, and it's easier to transition to another building/school if you have went to school with kids in the past. He's excited because another year of recesses. That's important!

14. I have a built in book shelf that holds all my books! That'll be some more shelving to be sold.

15. I have an enclosed back porch with french doors. The windows in the french doors have those internal blinds...no dusting...that is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! It makes for a nice place to have the deep freeze, etc. We have other ideas for it if we buy it though.

None of this is bragging because this house needs so much work to make it complete, but what we've got here is God showing us that he cares about our interest down to the minor details. I know that listing all that is wrong with it wouldn't bring benefit to anyone anyway...it's finding the good in it all. It's seeing our glass is not only half full but truly overflowing. We have been showered upon!

This...I've always been a "goer" and get depressed really easy if I can't get out of the house. It's a feeling of "stuck" that I can't stand. Being down to one vehicle...I've been in this house without leaving for a week now; I'm doing fabulous. I have so much fun just "keeping house", relaxing in my yard, daydreaming of all I want to do, and watching the kids play. I don't know if I'll stay this content,  almost assured that's not possible, but for now; sweet serenity is what I'm in. Thank you God for your provisions beyond anything I could've dreamed up myself. I dream pretty big!

Ohhh and don't let me forget...hubby was given a car today; we'll pick it up on Sunday. A car...that will be used to save on gas for hubby to go to work. It frees up the other vehicle so the kid and myself can go if wanted/needed. See...the 30 days isn't over and He has provided EVERYTHING and beyond!!

So if you've ever wanted to have such provisions or have questioned believing in God, Jesus, or anything...let this give you some hope to "try" Him out; He will let you. He gives us free will to make that decision because He loves us that much. If you have any questions about such faith; please feel free to email me, comment, pm on Facebook, whatever. I'm here for you and to share my faith for those who are interested. No I am far from a religious person; I don't belong to any denominations, etc.