Seeing through the trees

Just a typical day, sitting on the back door steps, hot sweet Italian coffee warms my hands and the morning October cool breeze upon my face. I'm unloading the thoughts of the past several months since we were ever so blessed with this rental home. As the days get closer to the end of the year, some anxiety builds in regards to signing the closing docs on our new kottage (spelling on purpose) I call it. Am I just so desperate that I'll take anything to be a homeowner, is this a mistake, blah blah blah. It's not, the blessings and provisions of God have been all over this place since the first walk through to rent it.

We have trees that line up along the privacy fence that separate us from the field behind our house. The trees have been full all summer, and autumn has arrived causing one of the trees in the middle to lose most of its' leaves already. When this happens, it means we loose many hours of daylight. I'm personally impacted by SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), so my time with the sun has been depleting daily. I can already feel the suction of the gloom that seems to be alive and hungry; ready to suck me fully in. This year I cannot allow that to happen, so I've been blessed by God's provision, grace, and mercy to have had lots of friends/family visit me, a new hobby of painting/antiquing, a new organic business that lines up with our dietary lifestyle (I'd love it if you would "like" my FB page). I'm also being proactive by setting up a life group to start in my home for women to connect, encourage, support and pray for each other while studying the bible together.

Back to the trees! If you have followed my journey at all...this ties back to the "take my own path" in the Journey of significance blog. So Anyway, the other evening I was sitting in this same spot realizing I had never seen this particular view before from this location anyway. The leaves are falling off the one particular tree in the middle...and I was like, ohhh look at that beautiful sunset. I felt as if God himself had reached down from Heaven and embraced me with His arm around me pointing with the other hand, saying "see, even though there is a season in which things look dead and dreary...I've got something new and beautiful for you to see. Look thru the yuck and see my glory just for you!" I felt he also confirmed that I heard Him back in June to make my own path, proclaim it as mine, and live it fully.

I believe this moment right now He has confirmed my steps, I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and as more leaves fall off...I will see even more that he has for me. See the full trees give shelter, protection, oxygen, and beauty all in themselves, but there comes a time for them to rest so they can be fruitful in the season in which they were created to be fruitful. If they were always full, we'd miss out on all the other we are to see. I know these words are also speaking right directly to someone and this too is confirmation for you; you are going to be ok, there is more out there for you, and He's got you! I love Him so!! Some will read this and think...I don't get it, that's okay too. It may not be for you right now or ever. But if it is, please let me know as these days do bring a shadow of gloom that can talk negatively in a whisper that says...I don't have anything to say that anyone needs. Thank you for the ones whom keep on following my journey, encourage me, and most of all check in on me when I'm silent (we all know something is wrong if I am). :)

So another confirmation came across my FB newsfeed today and I want to share that with you. A door that has a tree with few leaves...I'm walking through!! I believe there really is something on the other side very much above what I can comprehend or believe; and it's going to be mesmerizing! So let me leave you with this...you've got your own beautiful journey...have faith He'll take you to the most beautiful places to see the most extravagant things, and it might mean going through a season of gloomy, dead looking, life all around...but your heart will be full.

Launch day...a journey of significance

Live Video from today...watch first.

As I watch my natural silver highlights grow out, the skin upon my hands wrinkle,
death of family fall all around me, and the friends struggle in different areas in their lives...drove me to question so many things. My mind was going crazy with what's next? I don't have that much longer on earth to live and what will I leave behind? I'm not leaving "stuff" to be disregarded and trashed...I want to leave with someone who's life was improved, empowered, healed, and served by my love for them.

So about those birds...there's two significant things that I got from the birds flying into the net. The first was that even though they looked like fools flying right into a net, they got back up and flew off like they had no other choice. I know when I make a mistake or look like a fool in whatever area of life, I tend to stay down and drown in my sorrows. :( That's not the place to be as it brings no benefit to anyone. If I stay down anymore I hope I'll just take a moment to process what could've been different, what choices I can take for the next event, and allow myself to be human with mistakes, foolish decisions, etc.

Secondly, the birds taught me that maybe I shouldn't be following to begin with. If I'm following, there is NO way to see the obstacles up ahead. If I'm following, I'm going to fall into the trap along with the one I'm following. We're tied up in following these days especially on social media, our significance is in how many followers, friends, etc that we have...and that is just leading one to a place of discouragement, disappointments, and blocking the path in which you have been designed to take. If we're on another person's journey when then in fact cannot be completing our purpose in life.

We are each uniquely designed to "give" to the world a part of us that no one else can. Through that statement we then are given all that make us complete in this life. I'm so thankful for the broken chains of weight called popularity and acceptance. I'll be completely honest that I felt like a total idiot after doing that video and the abundance of fear that weighed me down in anticipation to do the video about killed me, but YOU....the many that have messaged me, commented, and called already gave me the confirmation that I did step out in the right direction today. Confirmation of what I question is my calling is being fulfilled each minute. I love you all and care about you! So look out in front of you, and not your past or current struggle but at the forest awaiting in front of you with a journey only you can enjoy, only you were designed for, and conquer the world in which only you can!! :)

Happy National Donut Day...can you tell I really would like to have one, but I won't. Please let me know if you had a donut for me. :) You are significant...you have a purpose...LAUNCH!

A song for you!