Hell on Earth = boy + autism + hormones + life

Always a dirty face...but gosh how can we not love it!
He says he needs eye cream for the bags 😂😂😂
Who taught him such?

A major shift has happened in the stink, the growth, the new hair, the dirt, the attitude of a growing almost 13 year old boy. Our guts are telling us that just because labs say we're normal something else is going on, and in the days ahead with Easter coming there's a stirring in the Spiritual realm for people; hell on earth is real for some. So let's talk about something positive...

Pull up a chair, grab a drink, and hang on with me here. I'm beyond estastic that I have been able to conquer the winter blues like never before. I have not officially been diagnosed with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), but I can tell you that the winter months for years pretty much put me out of commission. I found my daily routine to include some major napping time and so lethargic I never got anything truly accomplished. I lost interest in most things, even my family. I had tried all the therapies, and even some medications at one point. I'm just not meant for meds. January 2017 was my worst month ever, and to the point that I actually was strategically planning out my end days. Am I proud of that, no...I just want to give someone hope today. That isn't what I truly wanted, but in the moment it was because there just wasn't another way out. I was done. I was tired. I cried daily for Jesus to come back. Some say this is selfish...ok, maybe it is, but I couldn't help it in the moment. Don't say I didn't really trust God/Jesus/Holy Spirit either, you can just click off this blog now if that's your response...this isn't for you, nor can you understand it. The darkness overtakes without my control. I didn't know what to do with it, much less having the energy to take it on.

So, what happened this year that has been different from all the years prior? I found tools, and I've now got a toolbox that stays close. Those tools are people who give a damn, aromas that change my mood instantly, a written out journal, notes to myself from God, supplements I was deficient in, and the love of God that I now believe what He said is true for me. I just don't believe in Him like He's some thing in a far away galaxy bossing me around, but a true friend who accompanies me every single moment I allow & He's there when I don't. Thank you God for showing up through a friend, and that bottle of sweet bergamot that saved me that final day of making plans. Mental Health has gone frantic in the world these days, and I'll be the first to tell you that most of it falls in the diet we eat. No I have no products to save, treat, cure, or even suggest to help...I do have my journey of hope though that through it there is light at the end of the tunnel. There's somebody who understands, and you are not alone...I'm here if you have no one else. Feel free to send me a friend request, follow me on FB & IG @releaseandbelieve. I hope every single day through me surviving that I can make a smile appear on just one face. That's all I care about...releasing the need to be significant to many to be only approved by the One who matters & holds my life in His hands. My value comes no more from the number of followers or comments on a social media platform. My career no longer is valued by how many people I see, but that one is changed forever; the rest I trust in my God to provide. He's done so much more than that.

I never once thought what all is coming into fruition was even a possibility, and to be honest; I'm still wondering if I want it. Doing it scared, doing it because it keeps falling before me, doing it because until the door closes I'm going to examine all the opportunities placed before me. If it's not meant for me, the door will close; it always has. I'll be blogging as time goes on about this business adventure as well. If you've read my past posts...you know this is the year to be courageous & Mount UP! (as Eagles Wings I'll soar & in those wings I take refuge in my God).

Ok, back to the original reasoning of this post...I need help with this growing boy. I can handle all things girly and that hot mess of seasonal dramatic hormones, boys, make-up, and alike. Boys tho...I just don't have it. Stinky, puberty drama, and the necessity to hold the privates in public is about to put me over the edge. Maybe this is why I did make it through the winter because this...this stage would've been the straw that broke the camel's back. Ok, I get it...boys...but you all know we don't have a typical boy...let's throw some special needs and autism in the mix. Anybody...any momma out there that has already been through this, I'd appreciate a comment, reach out & suggest, let me hear your advice. I want to strangle him. Thank God again for His Word that is putting me through a study of how children are the Apple of God's eye, and how I should look upon them. Eyes roll and face palms happen more often than I care to admit. A major shift has happened, school started calling again with behaviors that just aren't like him to conduct...something is out of whack. When things go out like that for weeks, not just a disruption in schedule or overstimulation in a store...I start looking at his gut health. We observe poop. Yep, Call me Poop Master...because I'm telling you the truth of health shows in poop. The shape, the size, the consistency, the timing, how often, the color...are you grossed out yet? Well, without further descriptions of why I know a major shift has happened; we'll just say there's been a shift in poop.


We're changing our eating habits again. Welcome AIP (Auto-Immune Protocol)...I didn't know the impact of nightshades. I'm sad to some level that my garden will be way different this year, and I'm sure going to miss those tomatoes, less fruit, and thankful grass fed beef is included. We're 4 days in...and it's not making me cranky like I thought it might. The first 3 days usually are torture when you change a diet that significantly impacts immediately, and if one is emotionally attached to certain foods, etc. We'll see, and I'll keep you posted. Another reason we chose this avenue...is me. I'm having some major inflammation issues that are causing problems. We'll be doing a full digest & cleanse next month along with a parasite cleanse just for rule of thumb. My labs say that my inflammation markers are down, but my body is not agreeing. I've learned to trust my body over the conventional medicine protocol. I've become very aware of what is happening in my body since using AFT (Aroma Freedom Technique) in my practice. I can feel when emotions settle in places they don't belong (because they should be processed immediately and released)...it's weird to be so aware; aware of my digestion process, aware of my circulation, aware of muscle tension, and too much stress.

We're in full swing with Spring Break here, and daddy is taking off work for some vacation time. We have decided to stay within driving range (staycation), but far enough to try new waters for our fishing poles. Did you know the state of Kansas finally changed their licenses to be good 1 year from the date of purchase instead of the calendar year...YIPPEE!! We're all excited about that.

We also have been trying new therapies with the kiddo over spring break...self directed therapies; meaning we allow him to use his imagination & we go with it...it's amazing what we are learning through this. His sleep has never been better (so that's not a side affect to anything going on in the daytime), and we're excited to see where this newest journey takes us with him. I'm always looking for the best for him... without losing out time on who he is in the moment. It took a long time for me to take my eyes of all the researching to "fix" it, and instead enjoy learning him in the moment. God made this clear to me in Mark 10:14-16 recently, and I'll never look at my son the same again. That innocence that is in him is a place many of us, especially me, has never known or definitely has lost along the way. K teaches me so much about truth, trust and transformation. Until next time...thank you for reading & enduring our journey with us in spirit. He made some light spinning bubbles as one of the therapy sessions...see them here.

If you know a momma with special needs and the teenager life of boys please tag her, send her my way, share so I can find comfort in others, hope for our future, and just being known...you are greatly appreciated already for the help.

Hard Loves...Release & Believe there is more for you to come.

4 steps to NO MORE FOOD/SWEET Cravings (Step 4)

I'll apologize right now for being so late in posting step 4. I had to be sure that this was the step I could stand on and had experienced in changing our new way of life. I'm assured now! After experiencing two full weekends away from home and one was on us at the last minute with no time to prepare; I can officially say step 4 is Give Yourself a Break!

Good grief son, where is your other shoe while dad is yelling from the garage do you have everything ready to load? Uhh do you think I thought about grabbing food? No! So while last minute things happen in our lives it is imperative to have planned organic snacks such as mixed nuts, fruit, frozen cold pressed juice, protein/fiber balls, salads on hand at all times. Grab it and throw it in a cooler, lunch bag whatever. There is going to be a curve ball thrown at some point. I have never been so sure of this change now that I didn't have a plan. What an amazing learning experience and confirmation that #foodmatters and I was #hungryforchange. (click on links for awesome documentaries, recipes, and so much more; no I'm not being paid to advertise for them!)

Out the door we went, and we all ate horrible...back to the original processed foods, restaurants, etc to meet the demands of our stomach. Sure we could've stopped and got the better choices from a store, but we were so limited on time & funds that made it not possible. We had to eat CHEAP...but we didn't fall for McDonalds whoot whoot!! See I'm using an excuse...what I thought was cheap; now we're dealing with abdominal cramping, digestive issues, gained weight, and the lil' guy's behaviors are off the chart gain. Those side effects don't come cheap either...I''m a failure was the first thought! No I'm not...we fell off the track and now we have to get back on. It is very clear to me and this experience is a confirmation that nutrition, food types and choices make all the difference in the world.

So if you have fallen off track or maybe even derailed and felt like you've been left there to rust away; I've got good news...tomorrow is another day. Dust yourself off, pick yourself back up, and change your choices. Thankfully we've made it back home (very very broke by the way) and managed to have just $30 to go to the store. If you buy organic food...you know $30 isn't going to get much and we've got a week to live before payday. (Do I want to admit this, no...hell no! But I found that in my transparency other's gain. For that, I in my embarrassment will be humbled enough to say it can still be done)

So the scoop, we had either in freezer or pantry; 4 lbs of grass fed hamburger, a 2lb bag of organic pinto beans, a few apples, a tomato, left over gluten free birthday cake, 3 jars of half used and different kinds of salsa, a onion, rib bones, a pkg of quinoa and Kale, head of lettuce, cornbread mix,
and a grass fed beef heart.

We went to Aldi's this morning with our $30 and bought:Yes all organic, etc...

a. peanut butter
b. 2 pkg sliced ham
c. loaf of bread (Did you know that sourdough bread doesn't have added sugar...just a note)
d. 2 boxes of spaghetti
e. 2 jars of spaghetti sauce
f. Shredded grass fed cheese
g. 2 cans of refried beans
h. 2 pkg Basil and Tomato chicken sausage
i. 1 bag of blue tortilla chips


Mind you that's all we have...meals will be

Tonight:Taco Salad (put the rib bones in and roasted this morning and then on into the crockpot to make bone broth...cooks for 48 hours. Then took out the beef heart to thaw and marinate for 24 hours)

Tuesday: Beef heart with side of quinoa and kale

Wednesday: Spaghetti with basil and tomato chicken sausage

Thursday:Beans cooked in bone broth and cornbread

Friday: Pay day baby!! With two pounds of hamburger left over!

Sweet! Now I'll admit even with organic this is not the best of our meals nutritionally, but it's sure better than that restaurant and gas station food. I only shared this last info to prove that you can eat better even on a tight budget. Can't wait for whole fruit and veggies back in the fridge this weekend
....and more so for the garden to start producing. I hope and pray this helps somebody!

Give yourself a break...tomorrow is another day to dust off and do the best you can! Hugs!!

4 steps to NO MORE FOOD/SWEET Cravings (Step 1)

Yes, I don't have any food cravings and my desires for portions have uhm...let's just say, I have to make myself eat more than once a day. That's seriously about all the hunger that I have. How is that, you might ask?

Before I share with you what I actually did to get to this point, let me first say this. I have been down quite the road with weight issues most of my life. As a tween, 12 years old, I got sick one summer, really really sick and lost a bunch of weight for me at the time. I was down to a size 12 from probably a 16...and I'll never forget how my grandpa told me how much better I looked. Well, that stuck with me...12 must be the perfect size, I thought. Now there's some of you that want under that...that's ok, that's your choice because it's not about size to me anymore; I just want complete health. Like I've said on my Facebook posts, I don't own a scale. 

I wasn't looking for this journey when I found it! `Yvonne

Anyway, I've learned such things stick in our conscience when things like that are said especially to a naive young child. I'm not blaming him by any means. So I struggled with self worth, depression, shame, guilt, and on and on. Jumping into 2010, I decided to go have weight loss surgery (gastric sleeve bariatric surgery). That went well, I lost a little over 100 lb. down from 306 lbs and then my world got rocked. That rocking was very personal and there's no benefit for me to share that in this post. I can't ever say I found comfort in eating, I don't remember ever feeling good while eating...actually I always felt worse but never stopped. This body has consumed a lot of food in 42 plus years and in January I was almost back up to the before surgery weight of 286 lb.

January 24th, 2016 was the marking day of the click that went off in my head. I had received some information on yeah, I know boring insulin resistance and blood sugar. This was given to me in a way I've never heard before or was it...that "I had made up my mind" for real to do something different. My quote has always been "Be the change you wish to see in the world" -Mahatma Gandhi  

I don't believe I was just all of sudden interested in insulin/sugar because I wasn't even there to get such information. I didn't even know at the time I was going to hear such a lecture. A God appointment some will say and I won't argue that. I will say I knew in my heart for the first time in life that I was really done with my life as I had known it. I didn't set a New Year's resolution or anything about losing weight, changing life, etc. My life has changed though...the entire thing; A new lifestyle.

I'm compassionate about health. 

Getting back to emotional health, I have to talk about this because it is where many of us get stuck. It's where if I was mad, sad, scared, it didn't matter I seemed to place food in my mouth. I'd go hide in parking lots all alone to gorge myself on food. I remember one time eating 2 cheeseburgers, a chicken salad, large french fries, 20 piece chicken nuggets, and a XL pop. Ewww! Right? Well when one is in that mindset...you just hide so no one knows the ewww, or at least that's what I did.

Also, I was paid to clean my plate especially when going out to eat and every time I'd do it; then I'd have to go to the bathroom to get rid of it sometimes. Uhm, that didn't last long though before I was just used to cleaning my plate and so was my stomach. I will have to say we cannot fall into victimization status about ourselves over this because we are grown adults and have a choice. After you have been supplied any information don't discard it as not important or an interest to you. I wasn't interested in insulin or sugar information because well, I don't have diabetes staring me down, I don't have cancer eating my body up, I don't have anything/no diagnosis except migraines and obesity; being irresponsible with my body. I get it though, this thought process can't click for anyone else either until they want it to click. 

I've always had a choice, but when I found out the lies that are even deeper than one can imagine; that was my final click/light bulb moment.

It sucks because I always thought all these years it was my fault. Obesity is not anyone's fault...it's everybody's fault, unless one is actively contributing to the health of others along with themselves. I refuse not to inform my readers, my friends, acquaintances of what I know or find out. I cannot live with the guilt of not caring and not saying anything. I refuse. So, if you find yourself my friend on FB, Instagram, Twitter chances are you might get tired of my posts. I don't just post about this stuff only because I'm more into encouraging life and embracing joy than anything else. 

We have been lied to from the food corporations, medical profession and governing officials that we expected to oversee our health. It's all a lie (see my post on I feel like Maury...and that was a lie (Pt 1). The lies have been around a very long time, I'm just now figuring all that out. Now I'm a sponge and I hope at some point you will be one too for yourself, your family, for the Creator (my belief system). We can no longer play victim; we have a choice.

I'm out to prove to not only the rulers of lies but to myself; I can be healthy. I will do what needs to be done to remain that way. It's going to be a journey, and I'm taking it slow. Join me if you want; I'd love it.

So back to what you started reading this blog for in the first place...Step 1 

1) I took out all sugar (I know I know, you can't do that...but, but, but EXCUSES your choice :)) Sugar meaning anything processed, all the aka sugar names like high fructose corn syrup, and on and on the list goes. So I don't shop the middle isles of the store anymore because practically EVERYTHING is lurking sugar. I sure don't buy low  

fat, etc because it's been replaced with aka sugars. If you haven't already please watch Fed Up on Netflix. This is exactly where I started. I was livid after that; really livid. 

With this we have decreased choosing foods with labels. We cleared out all our pantry, refrigerator, etc and found pounds and pounds of processed items with high contents of sugar. Another truth about  sugar...you might want to see. (here)

TIA for sharing, commenting, and I'd love to hear your journey. I'm here to support you.

Blessings! I care about you! 

~Yvonne