Mount Up, Keep your fork, the best is yet to come...

I wish I had a better update for you, but I really don't. I have had an amazing experience tho though my roughest week yet.

Last Saturday, I walked out into my back yard & looked up to the sky asking God, "what do you have for me today?" With goosebumps and the deepest of emotion (tho saddened that you can't possibly experience this through just words)...a seemingly 8 foot span of wings came from behind me and launched into the skies above. I could see the details of the white hair on his head, the yellow beak, and the eye of this large beautiful creature we call the bald eagle. The most breath-taking moment to say the least...and the words "mount up" was whispered into my being as I recited the words to myself from Isaiah 40:31. I always get what I call a "word" for the season to come...and this is it. I am ecstatic to see what is to come. History in our family has proven it doesn't come without trials and tribulation, but the after...the best is yet to come.

Sunday, our pastor presented a message by handing us all plastic forks. Sharing the story many of you have probably already heard about the lady whom was given the notice that her life was coming to an end. She met with her pastor to give him the details of what she wanted at her funeral. The songs, Scriptures, etc... and that she wanted to be buried with a fork. She said, you know when you go to dinner & the waitress tells you to keep your fork...why? Because the best is yet to come...it's the dessert. Knowing in Faith that no matter what is going to happen next, the best really is yet to come when one has eternity coming. If you're alive, your story isn't done & He isn't done with you yet...grab the fork!!

Monday, I head to the PCP to find out the other details of my MRI findings as the ophthalmologist stated it was out of his speciality, but that I didn't have MS like he was questioning with my symptoms. That last update is here. There's several words I'm going to put here, but nothing is yet confirmed or has been discussed in detail at the time of writing this. I definitely have Optic Neuritis, and that is why we are on the search to find the root of it. The doctor handed me my report, and said...I'm sorry but I just don't know. We need to get you to a rheumatologist and neurologist to go over these findings. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "have you been diagnosed with lupus?". I said no, he stated that I have the significant sign of the butterfly rash on my face. I said, ohh I was told I had rosacea...he said, I think you've been misdiagnosed. Let's get some lab work done to see if we can rule that out. An ALA test, along with others. This blood work is what I'm awaiting as I type. Along with this rash, the MRI findings consist of a 7mm nonspecific matter in the mid-brain, dural ectasia of the brain (this is what caused the hole in K's skull), mild sinus disease, psuedotumor celebri, empty sella turcica, and the need to rule out papilledema. He would get me scheduled & let me know the lab results.

On the ride home, I was reminded by a small voice..."Mount Up"!

Tuesday, I was excited for this day because this was the day to go back to the eye dr to get my new prescription for "getting older" bifocals. I just knew if I had optimal level before me, it would relieve some of the stress I was having to put on myself just to function daily things. This day ended up becoming the worst day yet. I felt what is like a nerve coming out of my brain running down my spine, twisting & squeezing it like a boa-constrictor. I had went almost a year without any migraines doing my daily proactive regime to keep them at bay...this day would be the day that didn't work. I had a women's group to lead after the appointment, and I could barely drive much less participate. I couldn't order my glasses because I couldn't stand there long enough in the light to look at any much less think about the details they needed to discuss. I left, found a parking lot and prayed. I said good grief, if Jesus could bare the cross...the least I could do was show up for these ladies. I showed up, handed off the reigns to another to read; and their fellowship & love got me thru. I crashed in my dark bedroom for the next two days. The pain in my back, the numbing & burning of my face, the dizziness, and I hear...Mount Up!

Wednesday & Thursday are a blur really...until Thursday evening I had found some relief. Enough that I got to go with my husband to kick start another fellowship group for men & women at church. Don't think I don't know the enemy is also at work here trying to detour us/me from doing what we know we're called to do. He'll throw marriage darts, kid behavior darts, financial, emotional, and now physical darts to detour us. Nope, I'm not having it!

This morning...I've got ice wrapped around my neck and anointed (oil running down the head) myself with M-grain on the side that hurts & Stress Away on the side that doesn't. I'm able to pull off this blog with that, so this morning I'm in a better place. This has been so random & without rhyme or reason. Until I know more...every moment is unpredictable at this point.

Thanksgiving News

He really has stepped up beyond the necessary!

While enjoying the weekend with my daughter and son-in-law, I turned back from the front seat of the car to look at her, and I experienced the greatest pain (what I would call a pulled tendon) behind my left eye. Immediately my vision was impaired, but I didn’t realize how much until I tried to read anything containing words/letters. We had arrived back home, and when I went to follow a recipe for dinner found that I couldn’t read the instructions. The pressure had built and the pain increased over the next couple days and with my ever so restricted vision, I called the optometrist first thing Monday morning. The one I originally go to couldn’t get me in until Dec. 7^th. I tried to research another, with much frustration because I couldn’t see to look for such online. My introduction to using Google voice search began. I was able to get the info & have it even call the number for me. WOW, technology really helped me out in a desperate situation. This doctor was able to get me in that day, so I went. I was able to drive, but not read signs, etc. Everything was so distorted and blurry, with that said; I have always had astigmatism and I was just assured that was part of the reason along with knowing from the last eye glass prescription that I was soon headed for bifocals. Hello 40’s…just one of the many developments is enough but it seems they tend pop up their ugly heads unexpectedly. Let’s just say I didn’t realize how many things have words/letters nor how much one “reads” throughout the day.

The testing came back with a definite need for bifocals but that wasn’t the issue that caused me to sit behind those different lens’ that day. One test, led to another, and yet another. The final one printed out a picture of my optic nerve which showed severe inflammation, so the Dr. started asking other questions about my gate/walk, dizziness, fatigue, muscles, etc. I explained some things that had been going on (that I never really took as a need of concern). He said, you are showing all the signs of MS (Multiple Sclerosis), and this inflammation is one of those…so I need to order an MRI ASAP so we can get you on some steroids for the inflammation. My first thought…I know what steroids do to me, and I AIN’T (English majors please rest as I did that on purpose) doing it because the side effects outweigh the benefits. He asked who my PCP (Primary Physician) was, and I wanted to answer Jesus…but I didn’t. I said, I don’t have one since we moved. I’ve had no reason to go to the doctor, so I never established one. He looked at me in a weird way, then asked who I would like to attain as one because he needed that to order the MRI. I just said, who do you suggest? I don’t know. He referred me, and even called that doctor to see if he could take new patients, etc. I’m pretty impressed with the care, detailed, and bedside manners of this optometrist. He came back with the info that I needed to stop by this other doctor’s office to pick up the new patient paperwork. I laughed, how the heck am I going to be able to read it to fill it out. I got the requirements done with the help of the receptionist, so the MRI got ordered. The possibility of being diagnosed with MS didn’t scare or concern me in any manner…it would have explained some things and I knew that it was just another story of God’s glory to be revealed.

As soon as I got home I wanted to research all about it but couldn’t. That right there has been the most frustrating of circumstances because that’s just what I do. I read, research, and read some more about all things pertaining to human life because I love it. The part that hurt me the most was when I would go to grab my Bible, open it, and almost cry because I couldn’t read it. My ever so loving husband was greatly concerned with the news, and was ever so patient with me while after a hard day’s work would come home to a wife needing answers…so he’d research the topics for me. This is so NOT his thing. I am so privileged to have such as blessing as him. He posted on my social media to give people a heads up of what was going on, answered people’s questions until it got to be too much (I’ve still got like 40+ FB messages unread at the time of this). I’m not ignoring you, I just don’t have the visual ability to read any of it. Matters of fact, I wouldn’t be writing this without it being zoomed at 500% and using voice to text.Thank you, thank you all whom have been so concerned, in prayer, called, texted & messaged to find out the updates…I love you! There is no doubt that I am loved.

I went for the MRI. Thank you for those whom prayed for that as I’m highly claustrophobic and IV sticks are the worst for me. I prepared though by making sure I was overly hydrated (hello toilet we are friends) and drowned myself in all that makes me calm & happy. Your prayers along with these added precautions…the IV went in on the first stick, and I fell asleep in the MRI so it can’t get any calmer than that. (They didn’t have any of the cool added technology like I’ve seen at other hospitals, fans, earbuds, movies to watch while in there, etc., so it was just me and that loud banging long donut).

Now wait…the waiting room whether at home or in the office seems to be the most time wasted in life. Waiting on results, waiting for a test, waiting for the appointment that was supposed to be 30 mins ago, waiting on the nurse, waiting on the doctor, waiting, waiting, and more waiting. Today (Wednesday, November 22, 2017) was supposed to be when I went to the new doctor to establish care & get the results of the MRI (that I found out yesterday was completed and read on Nov. 16^th)…I growl a little. They called me yesterday to say the dr. is leaving town for the holiday and I’ll need to be rescheduled until Monday, Nov 27^th. I growled a little more and increased my volume at this response, asking if anyone could at least give me the results. They said they hadn’t seen the report nor that I was even in the hospital system. I called the eye dr. next. He quickly got off the phone to find out what was going on. He called me back directly from his cell phone, first saying he apologized the hospital had not yet delivered the report but that it had indeed been completed since the 16^th. He let me know that I have some issues that was detected by the MRI & that could very well along with the need for a new eyeglass prescription be the cause of my vision loss and distortion. I will need to see the other doctor for that, but that I do NOT have MS!!! Thank you God! Thank you for your faithful prayers! I’ll keep you updated as this progresses with the other information I received.

I have had moments of restored vision enough to text my daughters or husband, but only moments. Thankfully the pain has dissolved, but the pressure is still there if I try to read too much. The strain to focus on reading really does cause much discomfort. I miss reading, and had recently discovered Audible thru Amazon & love it, but let me say that I’ve yet to find any audible bible versions where the narrator wasn’t horrible to listen to. Good grief, if they believe He sounds like that…they don’t know my God. He has a personality, laughs, and has emotions. Those people are “BORING”!

So until I get new glasses (which I won’t be retested until Tuesday, Nov. 28^th & given the prescription) I am going to continue to limit my online presence on social media. I will not be attending to FB messenger for sure, so if you have a message for me then please either send a message to Rick or send me a text & he’ll read it when he is home…or you are free to call me too (I cannot call you back unless I have a moment clear vision…or until I can get my “not so smart phone” to call you using voice. I’m trying to get that to work.) I have so much that I can't wait to share about this journey already. 

Happy Thanksgiving! Release the bitterness, envy, strife, un-forgiveness, and pride…Enjoy and love on those crazy family members, and don’t miss the opportunity to share the Good News of Jesus & Freedom through Salvation because there might not be another moment for such. Time is short and unpredictable. You are so appreciated and loved beyond measure.

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~Blessings!