When I can't get the chatterbox to shut up!

No, this time I'm not talking about the kiddo. This time it's my internal chatterbox blasting lies, shame, and ideas of hopelessness about my current situation. I was given a critical review today over a project I've been working on that is due to release at the end of May. I have no one to talk to about it except God, hubby, and the dogs because I've been instructed by the Lord to keep several things going on in my life quiet for 150 days (started Jan 1, 2018). Yes, I know it's a weird number...and what's 150 days got to do with it? I had to ask for myself, "Lord, if I don't find it in your Word (Bible) then I'm going to dismiss it." Sure enough Noah's Ark was afloat & the earth was completely flooded for that 150 days. You can read that for yourself here. Genesis 7:24 "And the waters prevailed on earth one hundred and fifty days." There you have it...Noah, didn't have anyone to talk to either except the animals, his family & God. So...here I am.

That critical review was complete truth, but that didn't make it any more emotionally distraught to hear it. Truth is hard! It listed all the things I had done wrong. It had pointed out things that could be changed that I thought was good. It came with a written voice like a teacher with the red pen checking every point, and there was NO smiley faces. Ha...it took me back to elementary education. It's clear I had some red marks back then, huh? Which all of that says "Yvonne, you did bad, you are bad, and it's pointless!" Anybody else? I wanted to quit tonight for a half a second...then I remembered. I have tools in my toolbox for this. These are lies from the pits of hell. I can do this, I will show them, and even if I don't complete it...guess what?  I learned some things, I am better for it, and it'll help someone later. I have found that most of the experiences I've been through is so I can better relate & help someone else later. I will continue to try at least thru the 150 days. What are my tools??

Thankfully I had recently finished a book called Crash The Chatterbox: Hearing God's voice above all others. In the book there's a part where the author asks "What great deeds are in danger of remaining undone in your life because of lies that were planted in your past or fears that are looming in your future?" This is almost the exact sentence I use in my practice.

My other way of shutting up the chatter is to process it thru aromas. What?! Yes, it's called aroma freedom technique. You know how you smell pie & it reminds you of grandma's house...that's how this works. It's a simple 12 step process that I fell in love with because I was able to process stuff I didn't even know I was holding on to. I was able to process in 30 mins what I couldn't touch in typical counseling for 3 years. I loved the simplicity of it so much that I went and got my certification in the technique. From my pains, my business was born. The relationships I've built from this practice are so humbling, the beautiful testimonies on the website, and reviews on my Facebook & Instagram business pages called Release & Believe. Why did I call my business name that? It's biblical personal to me in regards to releasing my all to God, believing in Him, but it also names the last two oils needed for the aroma session. My pain was turned into a passion & it gave me purpose. What more could I ask for? God has turned ashes to beauty...and I get to watch and partake others in healing.

So if you're overwhelmed, stressed out, and can't begin to shut off the chatter...let me give you a 60 second technique that you can do for yourself. You will need 3 oils; Stress Away, Frankincense, and Lavender. 1 drop each in the less dominant hand, rub counterclockwise with dominant hand...then inhale. That's it. Watch what happens. It's amazing! No it won't do a complete clearing & transformation like an entire session, but it will get you over the hump. It's a simple self-care.

You can get those needed 3 oils under products here, but if you'd like to how to save more money on those products...comment below, email me yvonne@yvonnerentschler.com, come talk to me on social media on the links above, or contact me here.

Update: as soon as I posted this I got a message from my red check mark critical review: I'll be sure to go to bed smiling now! Don't give up!

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Eye rolling, should've known better, lightbulb moments...

What happens when you feel you have failed? You get back up and learn from it or you should. Warning, this is one of those blogs where I lay my emotion out on the table. I know who I am, I know I haven't failed, but I share these spontaneous moments so that another might be able to connect; not feel alone.

I honestly feel like I've failed myself and everyone around me these past couple days; well, because my appearance isn't going the way I think it should.

So it all started Saturday; ecstatic over feeling lighter, my stomach had what I call fallen. It's loose and not bulging & tight anymore...I'm on my way; I thought. I had consistently gotten in at least my dedicated 4 miles a day. Then, my husband smokes some melt in your mouth watering goodness ribs and roasted vegetables. If you follow me or are a friend on Facebook then you seen such the sight. I felt great even after eating that. Remember I eat on a divided kids plate so my portions are appropriate and it keeps me accountable.

Well Sunday came...I have this horrible time on Sundays and have for quite some time. I use to think it was because I had to go to work on Mondays, well that can't be the case now...I work at home now. We decided to have left over ribs for lunch. My stomach just didn't feel well, I even felt as if I had gained a whole clothing size back. You know what, I've already forgotten how or when the next step came into play but I know I made myself a spinach wrap with this flat bread that was low in carbs, high in protein blah blah blah. I ate it. That was it, I had within 20 mins gained every back that I worked hard at this last week. Going from 2 miles a day to 4 miles then for that to happen, I was devastated. I cried, no lie.

I got my positive pants on and decided, it's ok because everyone has those bad days and tomorrow is another day. Wrong...Monday I woke up still so full of yuck, bloated, and lethargic. Those two items, the ribs and that flat bread is what I blamed. So I got ready for my 4 miles and decided no, I'm going to change it up a bit. I'm going to decrease back down to 2 miles, but increase my incline and pace. I thought this abrupt change would kick up the metabolism, etc. Well if it did, I didn't see it. So much into the evening last night; I'll just say I was flat depressed about it all.

I went outside to see the snow moon as I had read about it being the time of release; and I was amazed. Amazed by the radiance it put off, then my mind went wandering into thoughts like; God put that there for us because in Him there is no darkness. So as cheesy as it sounds; I lifted my arms to the heavens...I had a conversation with God last night. I didn't ask for him to help me be skinny or anything of such nature but only of gratitude for all that He has created for us. I know I have several followers that don't believe as I do; it's ok. This blog isn't about religion; its' about my journey...and you care about things I say and many have been inspired. So let this part slip through your filter if it must to hear me out. After the conversation...I just said, here I give it; I give it all in regards to our new lifestyle. Be what it is...it'll still all be alright.

Didn't think much more about it until crawling into bed (where my thoughts pour as the waterfall over  Niagara Falls as it always does) (and where I am right this minute) and BAM! How the heck did I know what caused this bloating/experience for sure; I tried to rehash my day...memory sucks! Ohh I'm a writer but I have forgotten one thing...I haven't journaled or done any type of food tracking, emotion tracking, whatever....I needed to start my day with paper in hand because I still love to write with a pen over typing.

So today I sulked in my pity of failing all of this; failing overtook me. So guess what; I didn't walk anywhere on purpose today, only what I had to do. Stewing over not having had the journal going from the get go; and guess what else...pictures of my journey overall. Not that I will be sharing all that nonsense, but for me to have access to see the journey happening even on bad days.

I just think I figured it out; and lets' just see if I'm wrong. I had gotten a little uptight over the Saturday night experience which again was a little gain, bloating, uncomfortable. STRESS! The stress caused probably more of it than anything and each day I dwelt it was worse though my actions were no different. Yay, maybe ribs will be able to make my mouth it's home again. Just maybe...but I can't blame them until I can track that info. So...tomorrow is another day; not one of failure but of experience and lesson learned. I'll be noting my emotions, the foods I eat, the exercise, and the activities that might give me stress.

Lightbulb moment: Can't blame something if you really can't track it to that. Journal it is.

Thank you so much for following, commenting, and sharing...yes, I know eyes' rolled, I should've known better but it is what it is and I appreciate all of you. My blog is reaching out farther than ever before and I've wrote for many years. I have tons unpublished because I get stuck in a rut of who cares, no one wants to read this, and honestly who am I to have something to share of interest. So thank you, I need you too as it keeps me accountable.

Good night!

Blessings Abound!
~Yvonne

Pic/Quote is written/said by Joel Olsteen

Reflection perceptions

This new journey for me moving to Valley Center from Kansas City has really brought an early detection of Freedom. At the end of 2012, I felt like the word "prepare" was given to me as the word of the year for '13. For those whom know me from the city, do know that '13 was a prep year for me. Our family had just finished out of a year's worth of daily chemo for Koda in Jan. '13 and a entire battle with the school system that failed the safety of Koda by him being locked out of school for over an hour, my husband's job had became a bit dysfunctional in kind words that gave us a scare, we were involved in delivering weekly back-snacks for kids whom might not have food for the weekend, my grandma whom adopted me at 14 was facing the horrors of Alzheimer's and depression (which we've now brought down to Wichita with us), we consistently took care of and prayed with a group of homeless people who lived under a bridge, we were challenged on how much we could give away and survive ourselves, we built new support groups, study groups, and challenged discipleship. We built....wait, some conviction here...we didn't do anything but listen to what we felt as if God was asking us to do and only by Him did we do anything. Ok, that's cleared up.

Rick faithfully worked with New Life Family Church's food pantry to load and unload food from Harvester's to feed the average 800 people a month. Food Pantry video (now it's over 1000) These are the public things that were called of us not to mention the "prepare" spiritually, emotionally, and the healing that happened in the quiet background of all of this that I won't share here. (this is Kudos to an awesome God we serve...if you know us personally it's miraculous that we're alive honestly)

Ok, so prepared we got which was then in preparation of a move that has a story of God's perfect details down to the house in which we live right now....now what? The word for the year of 2014 is FREEDOM for me personally, and I'm hoping my entire family and friends will see, grow, and be brought to a place of freedom themselves. What does freedom mean for me? Well it's just now the end of January, and I'll start blogging them.

Freedom of some FEARS: I've carried for a very very long time that are stories within themselves. I kid you not that would bring to a place of paralyzed, and so I will later blog about each of these fears.

Fear #1:

Finding a creative side of me...I painted for the very first time last night at Let's Paint Wichita. Which is the painting above that actually is the reason for today's blog. Reflections I found have quite the differences of perspective from each author, reader, painter, teacher, student, friend, parent, sibling, neighbor, musician, listener, cook, etc by what sense you use to determine that perspective. I know neither of the women on each side of me knew what I was thinking, feeling, or anything else at the time because really each were concerned at getting the appropriate brush, correct color, placing exactly where they were instructed to do so. I noticed that not all were listening to the instructor either just as they should have because of either they were so hyper-focused on perfection or what the girl/guy next to them were saying. 

Quite the observation I must say. Way too fun for me...I soaked up each moment, each level of anxiety, each joke and each sarcastic word said, I felt the fear, anxiety, and the tension of room...which brought me to a place of "you're not alone even among these "been doing this a long time" people". I found no one could perfect the reflection in the water no matter how hard they tried. Reflection always has a distortion to me even in the mirror...see it all goes with what else does the reflection have to share it's story? Lighting, color, clearness of the water/mirror, whatever.

My freedom from this fear is that I had a distorted reflection of my creativity. It's not that expected my paintings to be perfect or anything I create to be but that I created and this fear failed. It no longer has a hold of distortion. I can create, I will create, actually I've been shown through this that I have always been an original creator...in relationships. There's no other me...and that's creative. 

Until the next fear failed is shared...Be you, Be original, and Be!! 

This picture is from (https://www.facebook.com/HeartCenteredRebalancing)

Fear Failed

Who knows what will happen but today...today I am free from the worry of what tomorrow might be or look like or even feel like. I am writing today because it is my way to escape when the weather is blistering cold and I can't get out among the trees, the water, and the breathe life that God has so graciously allowed me to have daily. Whom am I and what is my family that you have brought me this far... 2 Samuel 7:18. I'm honestly in awe of the deliverance in so many areas, but today I am free...free of fear. I'm not saying it will never come again, shoot that wouldn't be reality but in this moment there is peace. Honestly a bit of excitement instead of anxiety is building as I'm facing one of the biggest fears ever in my life directly in it's face. I am stepping out into something one professional told me I couldn't.

There have been many opportunities to do this very thing, but the fear was as if chains after chains with wenches were holding me back. It was fake....it was when I was young, impressionable, and naive that the words "you can't do that" stuck. Then many other relationships, words, and journeys in my life piled on top of that confirmation of  "you can't...you're a failure so don't risk it". I've even recently been given the words from a dear Christian friend whom thought they were being supportive add to this failure thoughts by stating I wasn't trusting God. Fail! The enemy will get your focus off your designed purpose however he can. I was given a what I call a natural gift, and I am now going to step out of fear into "in spite of it". I do mean when I say "I" only by God can I do anything. God gets all the glory.

There's a book to be written behind these 10 fingers just in this one story alone. And no, not right now, I'm not saying what I'm doing...just know that I really went from paralysis into letting my Creator carry me through. His Will will get done no-matter what we fear. :) So for the last several weeks these are just some of the spontaneous things, words, requests, texts, and pictures that have come across my lap personally to confirm my direction is now: step out and change fear to faith with freedom...

I also then received a video link sent to my email...

I'm not listening either :)

So, I realized I'm a dreamer...and my fears came from thinking about failing what could be the end result. But see, I have to stop. Be still in the moment to find what today has for me. I've wasted many days worrying about a tomorrow that isn't promised to me. If I try today, and die tomorrow then I have succeeded because failure wasn't in the "trying it"...failure would be in doing nothing.

Circus animals are trained from the time of infants by chains holding onto their legs. This gives them a boundary in which they come to realize they cannot pass over. So when the elephant then becomes big...it doesn't know that the trainers have unlatched it from the anchor, so this large animal still thinks its being held back and doesn't even try to go past it's boundary. Even though, this monstrous powerhouse could have pulled it's weight and won against such an anchor for a very long time...it's perception and mind has been tricked into thinking it couldn't. Well, I'm a monstrous powerhouse that God has freed for His Glory. I thought I was still stuck, chained, and locked away from being what was already naturally mine to share.

Can't wait to share my destiny. If you're in my personal life then you're part of the story too...how fun!