The impossible...

has happened! The journey of 2016 has not been all I would wish for our lives, but good things definitely happened. I promise great news is at the end of this post, but let me reflect on what really went on; so that I may never forget what God has brought us through. The end of the year pushed me over the edge, and so I took a break from social media for the last week of the year to replenish. At first I thought that week went way too fast, but in another way I was wishing it to be over. We all lost a lot of people, pets, and things this last year. I realized in this time to myself that "Replenish" should be on the daily calendar, not to be utilized when someone has already been depleted to even enjoy such a time. What should be of a help today is taking weeks maybe months to recover.

So as I looked over the photos that have been uploaded this last year...I had a moment that touched my heart like no other; we really did have a good year. Let me share some of those great times in 2016.

1. Koda graduated all therapies
2. I got to meet and become friends with some fabulous people during my time working at Heartspring.
3. We traveled many states, had a great time finally meeting our "NF twin" family whom let us crash at their place while on the journey to our daughter and her husband's home in Ft. Bragg, North Carolina.
4. I got to see my first lighthouse while visiting my daughter. We got to swim in the Atlantic Ocean, and visit several military/veteran events/parks.
5. Koda got his FM receivers for the Auditory Processing Disorder...wow, what a difference.
6. Got to go to a bridal expo with our youngest daughter whom is getting married in May. Being involved in the wedding planning is so fun.
7. Went to Branson, MO for a vacation where we went to see Moses at the Light & Sound Theatre and have dinner with the going to be our youngest daughter's in-laws. Koda got to experience go-cart racing with dad against soon to be brother in law, Sam. That was fun!
8. Hubby surprised me with a birthday gift I'll never forget while in Branson...my first helicopter ride. That while so scary was so positively life changing for me in regards to facing fears.
9. We had to move...and while that was horrid while in the moments of it; God came thru. I've blogged that 30 day journey "when God moves you".
10. Koda has got to experience having neighborhood kids to play with.
11. We had several visits from the girls. Now that is when my heart is full.
12. My husband has had full time work plus overtime to support our family while it has been clear at least for now; I'll continue to work from home.
13. Koda has got to experience suiting up and being placed in an actual go-kart. Dang short legs kept him from experiencing driving the actual kart on the track.
14. Koda also has developed and enjoyed his first experience of bowling in a league.
15. We had a roller coaster of a year with learning a new eating lifestyle of all organic, no-gmo's, grassfed, cage free, free range, clean, juicing, fresh, straight from the farm buying and garden growing food. So thankful for a job that I can work from home, that supplies us with seasonal blends, receipes, oils to have easy meals at home every single day. I love Wildtree!!

I'm sure I've left many more out, but the greatest of these are the love and support of friends, family, acquaintances, and even strangers through our most difficult of times. Thank you to each and every single one of you who make life easier to endure when seasons can be so trying, unbearable, and down right mean. May 2017 bring health, love, happiness, provisions, favor, peace and daily moments to replenish. Love you!!

So....God has done yet again what seemed impossible! We got the approval from the bankruptcy court trustee to purchase the house! We got the house!!!! Happy New Year!

(Update to PET scan) What I can do through this...

Let me apologize to those who have been awaiting this post to get the scoop on all the other details to our newest journey (read here to catch up)...with the recent presidential negativity throughout social media, some flashbacks of personal trauma that was also triggered by another's heartbreaking FB post, so I just mentally shut off everything and enjoyed the last two days with my family doing whatever we wanted. It was so nice to step away from the phones, computer, and screen.

That referenced post above was titled "When there's not a damn thing you can do"...I'm taking back as of right now because God definitely showed me that when it seems as tho you can't; you can!! No, I personally can't change the fact that at this moment our son has a tumor that has ate through his skull. I decided though, I was going to embrace the moments of joy throughout the new journey as we find out all the details of what the specialists suggest to do. What I didn't realize was how just maybe we were going through this so we could be exactly where we needed to be for someone else. I'll explain that in just a bit.

So, we are leaping with joy and thanksgiving for the answered prayers of Koda's tumor NOT being malignant. I had also posted on FB before we got results: 

"I'm posting this now because I'll not be shocked to find out why it happened after we get the results from the PET scan today...the technician apologized to me and called the dr, nurse, and radiologist to say she accidentally took too many images...it was only to be of the upper body (trunk up) and she took clear down to his feet. I said, I'm fine with it because it gives us a full body baseline regardless. I don't think this was a accident at all...in K's life, history has proven...there's a reason for everything. 

If you don't know...PET scan. A positron emission tomography scan is a type of imaging test. It uses a radioactive substance called a tracer to look for disease in the body. (They told us that it's where they feed the body sugar so if there's cancer it'll light up because tumors love sugar and will eat it up)".


I posted that because Koda has had other significant pain episodes throughout the years in his legs, and honestly I was expecting to hear they found something there. Praise God that isn't the fact, so we are thanking God for the additional images for future reference baseline, if needed. I'm ecstatic beyond words that nothing else showed up. Seriously my heart couldn't have handled something yet beyond what we're already dealing with. One diagnosis' in itself is enough for any family, but 5 significant affecting daily living is beyond me already then the skull thing was/is too much! I don't function on my own strength...I have none! I'm worn! And the newest journey is just beginning.

I wish I could say that with the great news from the PET scan that our journey is now going back to "our normal", but that's not true. We've got quite the journey ahead actually. Here's the next steps:

1. MRI in Kansas City to update us on the actual tumor itself growth/measurements/etc 

2. Neurosurgery and Plastic surgeon appointments in KC

3. NF Clinic appointment in St. Louis

4. There will at some point be a surgery scheduled to fix the skull itself (if it can be done with where the tumor is located) so much still to discuss and figure out.

5. Probable out of state (several places including NIH National Institute of Health) visits for clinical trials of  different chemo meds. (We really do NOT want to do this again...He was on the Gleevac trial for a year 2011-12)

Koda's tumor is complicated, it's as a bag of worms always moving and hopefully not growing, it engulfs the carotid and that in itself makes it too high risk to remove. All of his team up until this point has said they wouldn't touch it. The oncologist is concerned about getting this tumor to shrink or de-bulk it so it doesn't do additional damage to the skull...she has mentioned us going to Cincinnati for surgery because she knows they will do this type of surgery (ugh...no, we won't be making any decisions about this until we talk to the NF specialists because well this isn't her area of speciality...malignant tumors are.) 

These type of tumors if cut on tend to grow back 3x faster after surgery anyway. We are going to have a lot of praying time and discussions as we weed out the pros and cons for each suggestion as they become available to us. In the meantime, I'm now using Young Living Frankincense and Sacred Frankincense topically on the tumor while diffusing other blends as well. We had also fallen off our "clean eating" for a bit after our move here...but, that is back on track at 100% now. We will do what we can and we fully believe diet/atmosphere plays a big part in emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Please keep praying for us through this journey. Thank you for all that has supported us up until now through prayers, calls, texts, hospitality, and the financial support & donations to the gofundme page.

Now back to the last sentence in the first paragraph. This journey has allowed us to be placed right where we needed to be for someone else. If this had not happened, we wouldn't have ended up with a physical appearance much less anything else when it was needed. Another family 4 weeks into the hospital stay, 2 surgeries later this round, and still living in the PICU; God had a plan. I thought I was going to visit my friend and her son while I was there, well on the way to KC the night before the PET scan...I was prompted to go see them "now", as soon as I got to town. I dropped off Koda at his aunt's where'd we be staying the night...and off to the hospital I went. 

I got to spend some time listening to all that had went on. My heart sinks watching this momma not see daylight, but knowing she can't think about leaving him is totally understandable. So many times this precious face has stopped breathing...etc! :( So this is what I can do while we endure this journey of our own! I would've set up a Gofundme page for them, actually I'm shocked to no end that no one has done it yet...if anyone needs support it's this family. Daddy doesn't get to be there as they would like, because like us; bills don't get paid without somebody working. Gofundme does charge fees, it takes at least 7 days to get the first deposit, and this family at this time doesn't have an account to link to it so...

Update tonight from momma: He's running a 103 temp, heart rate at 200, and 3 new antibiotics started. My heart hurts so bad for them all. Don't let that precious face make you think all is fine...it's not. By God's grace, favor, and mercy Moose has endured and continues to fight daily. Help me help him & his precious family. This is now Koda's baby...He prays everyday, at every meal, and every night for this boy.
Thank you in advance for your prayers and support.

Until I work out other details with this family to get another fund raising opportunity made and funds to them; I'm asking for any donations possible. Please use this link:  PayPal.Me/embracingjoy I will make sure all funds donated gets into the hands of momma. Make sure to note that it is for Kennedy Murry aka Moose. 

You're invited if you been thru some....

...$%!83!\!!!!!

What the heck is going on around us? Have you noticed? If you think outside yourself at all....someone has something big going on. Cancer, autism, surgery, tumors, dementia, mental health, depression, suicide, food allergies, skin conditions, chronic pain, death, and diagnosis' are on a rampage...and why? Have we really thought about it, and if we have thought about it; are we doing anything to change it? For me I know our food supply is crap. It's processed with lots of chemicals, hormones, blah blah blah. Our environmental toxins have reached an all time high. Our water that flows through the faucets haven't been safe for years. Do we really care about the future generations...our children, the neighbors children, and all the children's children? I'm saddened for the newest generations being born as I write this. Technology isn't making it any better much less social media...we've went mad. We don't dare let our cell phones die. The children in today's society spends more time talking through a screen and never seeing their family at the dinner table, much less getting outside to have physical social encounters that turn into lifetime friendships.

Don't get me wrong...I'm thankful for computers, internet, and FB at the moment to be able to notify way more people about what is going on currently in our lives involving Koda. I would hate to spend that many hours re-explaining all the details over the phone to each one. Does anyone take care of the neighbors, widows, orphans, and friends anymore? Do you even know your neighbors, much less what they're going thru. I remember taking dinners for a family that had surgery, or just had a baby. I remember babysitting the neighbor kids to give parents a break without expecting anything. What about going to relieve a caregiver at the hospital or nursing home? Do we volunteer at all? Now we can't trust anyone...everyone hates someone it seems either by occupation, color of skin, financial status, political party. I'm so sick of it all. What has happened to mankind?

Entitled brats! I know a lot of people don't fall into this bracket but society as a whole has. My heart is hurting for everyone right now. So I think once we get through this PET scan this week...we're throwing a party. WTF/H/Whatever Party...let's enjoy each other, hug each other, take a minute off our phones and connect while we eat, share our stories, and maybe even well I'm pretty sure we'll drink. Coping skills look different to all of us, and no I haven't went off on the deep end. I'm trying to touch on the angry momma part right now so I don't explode in inappropriate places or ways. I'm sure I'm pretty pissed off about our current situation along with what others are dealing with. I'm sorry! I wish I could fix it, but it begins with us. Me...and so I invite you...have a party and find your support because these journeys aren't easy. By the grace of God we will endure. Hugs to each and every single one of you! My heart hurts.

(By the way, I'm very serious about this party...if you are within my local realm; let me know you'll come) These may be crazy posts over the next few weeks/months, don't say I didn't warn you.

4 steps to NO MORE FOOD/SWEET Cravings (Step 3)

The pictures/quotes are women driven but this blog is for males as well. I come to find this is one of the most important but a difficult step within the 4 because it supports emotional health. If you've missed out on Step 1 and/or Step 2 make sure and click on those links as they are highlighted.

Step 3 is Support.

We have these little voices that say ohhh one piece will be ok, and I won't have anymore. Yeah right...it never works like that. You know, 1 Pringles chip is impossible or even the serving size of 16 chips were impossible for me. Once you give into the temptation of the first piece, first anything there is an army of excuses for the 2nd and 3rd until it's uncontrollable again. It's a lie. We must have supports in place prior to the event. This support holds us accountable and hopefully one has such in place that will lay the truth out in love; and one is able to receive it when emotionally one may be in denial. Trust the supports.

I was once in several accountability groups and we tried and tested each other. The most beneficial thing I learned from such a group was that you must have multiple layers of steps away from caving. Let me explain this detail. This goes for anything in life that is addicting, toxic, or just something you choose to stay away from. For instance, you have an unhealthy relationship with someone you know you shouldn't, it's not enough just to say you're not going to talk to that person again. If one is emotionally attached, there's a grieving process as one will have felt as though they died. This is a normal process in clearing one's circle of unhealthy relationships. One must have several barriers up to help protect yourself from caving into just calling them up. So first, make a commitment to yourself. Some people have great will power and compete within themselves; this is great, but it's not bullet proof. Next, make a plan of barriers to run into before actually calling, then get some accountability partners to call upon in need. Three or more team members are the best because there will be times those people will not be immediately available when you need them.

Here's example building the plan & barriers to such success. Every time I use this strategy, it works.

1. Commitment to self (make reminders on mirrors, in the car, on your phone, on your fridge even)

2. Ideally get a 3+ accountability/support team with daily interaction even if it's just a smiley face that you have met the goal for the day. I've got a support group for different topics that still happen on a daily basis everyday. These people help keep me on track, love me unconditionally, and are not quiet when I've stepped off track.

3. Find your weaknesses and REMOVE all items from home, car, phone that may tempt. Food, pictures, Facebook; other social media, delete music that reminds, block people, delete contacts from phone, if needed take a social media "fast", break, or vacation especially if the temptation to look them up is your weakness. Drive a different way if you know you'll see them or that restaurant, turn off the TV commercials, etc.

This is exactly what an accountability partner would say.

4. Pray, meditation, yoga, exercise, listen to music, find a therapist whatever it is that helps you connect with self and the best journey forward.

I understand this struggle in a very real way...probably more than you can imagine. Without details, of course, here's the exact subjects that I have had to build and use this plan with; Marriage, emotionally unhealthy relationships, addictions, finances, and well food. I didn't place food in the addictions category because some don't view their struggles as an addiction; so didn't want to leave that as a possibility of denial. I hope this makes sense. This is not easy, it takes full thought into planning the fences, barriers, support, etc.

I'm seriously here to help in anyway I can. If you want more understanding, help in this area, or lacking supports regardless of the topic in which you want to discontinue; I can do that...contact me. There's no charge here for support. Life is a struggle and it's real. This is my passion in life is to help others become the best that they can be. I know sharing your vulnerability and struggles can be embarrassing and hard to admit; I know, I get that, but no judgments here. I've done and seen it all in this journey. Guess what, I fail, fall, and thankfully can say I get back up. It's ok to be human. It's ok to have a bad day that's why we place the barriers so you can trip several times and still not hit rock bottom. These supports give you a ledges
to fall upon without falling into the pit.

It's my hope you find Hope & Support in this blog to push you through to a healthy you!

Blessings
`Yvonne