What a circus year!! It's back to school time...

Fun Friday...this is sarcasm. Hello me!

K has had surgery and healed zoom fast! I'm so thankful for the incorporation of Young Living's essential oils being an avenue of  help in regards to speed & no scarring. Thank you all so much for your prayers that got us thru this last year.

It's been a year since we had to abruptly move, and while it was seemingly the worst year at many moments especially my mental health throughout this year...it has ended to be the best ever! No, K needing surgery I sure could've done without, but what came from that is nothing short of God using that time to step me onto my divine calling in life. It's fabulous when one finds their purpose in life. I have done that, and with that now thrive, am invigorated with excitement to see how and who I'll be blessed by helping next. Check out Release & Believe to see what I'm up to these days as a entrepreneur.

We have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know our son this summer without any chemical induced control thru medications. Who is he...he is vibrant, fun, creative, and loves to tell the most outlandish stories using the things he's most interested in. He has not needed the Ipad so much since the meds are gone, as he is outside doing the "typical boy" things like playing with big nerf guns, pretending stuff is blowing up, etc. But see what is sad about this...is the other kids his age are stuck behind the their phones or gaming devices. He has no friends, and with being socially immature and awkward he has found playtime with a 4 year old girl and I'm fine with that. He's compassionate & they play well together. He is using the EO's to help keep his emotions in order, support quality sleep, and overall functioning. He still doesn't self regulate, so we have to remind him to use the oils.

I don't even know where to start on the most current situation, but we're back to school. Back to school in a "new" to him school called Middle school. We only have one middle school here so all three of the elementary schools come in. I've had calls almost every single day for something from BM accidents, behaviors, headaches, etc. So before I go into any details on that, here's the disruptions in life that are happening around him that would affect many...

1. New school (new atmosphere/environment)

2. New & more teachers

3. New & more kids

4. Not yet have we had a full week of school even tho we started on Aug 23rd.

5. His big sisters have been here staying in and out (guests always throw him off)

6. More transitions (he has 9 classes and not all classes are the same daily)...(college atmosphere)

7. We are remodeling our home so things are out of sort here

Can we just let things settle for a moment for him...like get a full week of school in?

So they called an emergency meeting to figure out what to do for him at school. He has an IEP (it's never been what I call the best and each year it changes because each school & staff sees things differently). I go in and sit down with 11 teachers & admin that tell me he cannot control himself, he's all over the place, and that he can't focus...and here comes the question; why isn't he on meds like he was last year? He needs them. BAM!!! They are not doctors! I suggested that he get to use his oils...NOPE! I said don't girls get to carry around perfume bottles in their purses or lotions? I can make him up something like that, NOPE! They don't want the liability...What?! You don't have to put them on, you don't have to administer, but you might have to tell him to do it. NOPE! If I can get the doctor to write a prescription for it and it be on the named bottle just as it is to be administered, then and only then they'll accept. I've got a primary doctor who will do it, but...why is it always the meds is the easy way out?

Where's the accommodations and modifications play in? It is important here to measure not just the child's behavior, but also the reactions & events in the child's environment. Why are we not looking for the cause of the behavior...because there is one. Our behavior serves as a metaphor for communication. Can we be observant scientists, and figure this out...I can't be there to do this for them. There's a motivation for everything we do. It's either to escape (a lot of adult parents do this at the check out line when the kid is screaming for what they want and the parent gives in to escape; which is in neither parties best interest), get attention (positive or negative: they are in need of interaction), or to avoid (a complicated one) that one has discovered & learned by cues in that particular environment that have been connected to past unpleasant events that causes a thought of "I'm not going to put myself in this situation". If a teacher, for example here, has already at the beginning of the year set a negative environment that my child has picked up on; he's going to do whatever he can to keep from entering that situation again. We all do it.

It cracks me up...we've all been told to be good & listen. Listening is not really what you want them to do...you want them to "do" something not just "hear" you...because chances are they did hear. Wording is so important. "Be good", what is good? Have we written out the details of what this actually means and where are it's boundaries? It's a highly sophisticated concept involving social norms, context, modulation of intensity & quality of behavior, and the motivation to comply with those norms & guidelines. The meaning behind "be good" changes with every person saying it, even my husband and I don't have the same definition for "be good". Good grief, how are we so loosing the point & the projected goal with words that cannot be defined in literal context. After we discover the reasoning behind the behaviors then we can exchange that behavior for the one we want. Until we do this...we're all going to run around the wilderness with the same problems happening over and over. Medicine isn't the only need here...if in-fact we get the behaviors figured out then we can look at meds. I'm not against meds, but I am against it being the first choice (have I said that a million times before). Attitude, Approach, Acceptance, and careful & intentional observations is what needs to happen with open minds to the possibilities of that which is "outside the box" of our typical thinking or experiences. 

What's ohhh so frustrating to me is the fact that this very morning K & I had a detailed conversation over how he had transferred to the SpEd room yesterday. He was able to tell me what he read, learned and how much he enjoyed the classroom. This has never happened. Why the %$#^ can't this happen? Why does it have to be temporary? Why are they so against it? I'm so tired of hearing how intelligent he is and what all he brings to a classroom when I'm here at home hoping some day he will stop having #1 & #2 accidents in his pants, #2 predominately...and when it does happen to be able to clean his own butt. Seriously, that is a big deal and a needed life skill if you ask me. He doesn't acknowledge or care that there is poop in his pants...and he's 12. I've seriously got more things I'd rather be researching and learning than how to conduct myself & how to express my voice to the ones trying to educate him. Why am I asked to come in? I'm not listened to when they do ask?

So we go back to the psychiatrist to talk about meds again on the 21st. Until then, I'll get off my soap box as a momma bear, helicopter parent that just wants all avenues of supports, interventions, and modifications done before we turn to medications. By the way, what tests he has taken so far...100% on them. Who isn't learning here? Hope you all have a fabulous September!! :)