Unsure...........

back but still to busy it seems to keep up on a daily basis; but who knows.......for now though I'm just unsure. Its ok to be unsure knowing that where my final place is. I must say that I deal with the natural human feelings of unsureness though. Mainly why and what purpose will this serve? NF, cancer, etc all these things are an unknown for the people that have to live between the lines of it's diagnosis. It becomes easy to blame, find an excuse, or even a scapegoat than to just face the facts that we have an enemy that really is among us to destroy us. When these things happen though, if you step back and watch; you will see a healing that could've never taken place before had it not happened. A family brought back together after years of discord. A way for some to look at themselves and not judge anymore.
A new friend to make, just when you need a real one the most. Would I want my son to pay the price to bring a family back together; my selfishness says no.......but we all know he was only given to me for me to do my job; raise him to know the Lord on a personal level. But see, God did give up his only son to save all of us. See He was selfish in the fact He wanted us all. For those with no family, any sacrifice would be willing to enjoy just a moment in a family spirited atmosphere. There is a purpose behind the pain; though it was not caused it is still allowed so that the pain will give purpose to the much needed growth in each of us. I have to step back and wonder myself why I have become so close to this family member lately........why have our paths crossed; why do we need each other, and what is about to happen? I know I shouldn't but I still want an answer to why. She is not my blood, but she is becoming one of the closest people to my heart. She has had experiences, guilt, shame, victories, losses, thoughts, fights, anger, love, and most of determination. Where she gets it; who knows............she probably is in awe of herself. She wouldn't tell you that though. May we all step back and look a little deeper at the people God allows us to have in our lives. All have a purpose; to a beautiful tapestry that will be finished but it includes our pain. It's all part of it. I must say that I hope to find many years of connected heart strings, and get to share the present of life and victory with her. I know when we look each other in the eyes from now on; there is a deeper sense of strength, passion, serenity, love, wisdom, life, sunshine, memories, mountains of endurance, and most of all true friendship..........to the end. Why I'm writing the words I am, again I do not know. I type what my heart is delivering at the time. Sometimes it makes me cry.......how my feeling turn into clicks. My heart is my writing, and my writing is your gift from me for the day. Another day is always a gift to be thankful for; so I'm glad I can share it with you. I'm still unsure..............